Tin Foil Tuesday: Are Donald and Vladimir BFF’ing Again?

Trump and Putin sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. So the hullabaloo that came out of the DNC hack last week appears to have Russian handprints all over it. Is Putin trying to influence our Presidential election for his own personal gain? Let’s take a look at the “evidence” we have thus far………. Timing:  The DNC hacks came by way of two Russian intelligence agencies. One of the hackers provided the information to Wikileaks who then released it on the eve of the Democratic Convention hoping to stoke chaos and outrage. The problem is that while it caused ire, silly Russians don’t realize we’ve come to expect this type of political party gamesmanship in a mega-tabloid election season on steroids where the only thing that is surprising is how we got here. But it was deliberate no doubt about it.  Puppets:  Trump is surprisingly ill-informed about geopolitics. He seems drawn to Putin much like he is drawn to himself in the mirror. Power Loves Power. But Putin is a maestro in geopolitics and is playing chess while Trump appears to be playing Connect Four against cats. Putin loathes NATO and wants it gone. Recently Trump has taken up talking points against NATO as well. Russia is the insolent child that keeps pushing the envelope in the form of slow and gradual “invasion” into former Soviet territories and regions (Georgia, Ukraine, etc). Trump last week commented that he probably would not respond if the Russians were to invade one of the Baltic States. This has to be news to the shirtless Russian midget’s ears! Trump wants to make America Great Again, but is he inadvertently helping to make Russia Great Again instead? Stay tuned.  Connecting the Dots Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign chairman, was previously a consultant for former Ukrainian President, Viktor Yanukovych, who loves him some Putin (the US did not support him because he undermined the West’s interest). Yanukovych was driven from office during the 2014 Ukrainian revolution by the flaming pitchforks of the people and fled to mother Russia. Shortly after the unrest, the Russians invade the Crimea region of Ukraine.   Money Money Money Don Jr. recently admitted to the Washington Post that his father is seeing “a lot of money pouring in from Russia”. So its logical to construct that some of the money Russia has loaned to Trump has worked its way into his campaign. Inadvertently yet again.  My take? Almost all power countries are involved... read more

Wee 2016: The Trump Presidency (Part One)

With Trump widening his lead against the rest of the derby horses, we must confront the fact that he could legitimately win the Republican nomination and in turn win the Presidential nomination in 2016. As such, we will try to envision what a Presidency under Trump might look like. Rest assured, it won’t be dull, however I will take liberties to make the future vision quite over the top. Much like the Donald himself.    The first 90 days of the Trump Presidency:    Trump displays his impatience with the political process and in particular with Congress’ do nothing ability. He immediately fires the Senate Majority Whip, Dick Durbin (because the Dems win the next Senate election and take back control) and Speaker of the House John Boehner who is now so Orange, he is mistaken by Trump as a giant drunken oompa loompa who is stealing Trump’s candy.    He replaces both with unelected people from the Trump organization and advises the rest of the country during a TV message that the US, going forward, will be run like one of his companies. This is a done during sweeps week in April to maximize ratings. Trump #1 in the ratings again, just barely squeezing out season 3’s finale of Empire.      6 Months into the Trump Presidency   Trump has his first live meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin. By the end of a very contentious shouting match over Urkaine, Putin is found without his shirt beating his chest like King Kong and making ape sounds, while Donald gets out his measuring tape to end this standoff for good. At the end of the meeting there is a truce between the Russians and the US. Russia can have the Ukraine, the disputed areas in Georgia province which will now be renamed DurkaDurkastan and all of California. In exchange the US will get subsidized vodka to be sold under the Trump name! exclusively at ABC Liquors. Putin also promises to refrain from topless photos for a 2 year period. Foreign policy win!    9 months into the Trump Presidency:    The plans for the awesome Mexico wall have now been put into place. After Mexico balked at actually paying for it, Trump has rounded up illegals in the US to build it in exchange for amnesty after its completed. This then frees up 1000’s of jobs vacated by illegals that US workers can now have; except they either can’t do or... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: We Didn’t Really Land On The Moon?

Ok, I am calling shenanigans. A report out of a UK website ran a report last week that a Russian government official is opening an investigation into whether or not we actually landed on the moon in the late 1960’s. The conspiracy arises as a result of the original NASA footage and a lunar rock that has gone missing. The original footage of the famed lunar landing was accidentally “erased” in 2009. The only footage left is now grainy images of Neil Armstrong’s giant step for mankind.  So it begs the question, did we land on the moon? Or did we Hollywood our our way to American superiority over Russia’s space program?  Dear Russia, we crushed you. Not only did we land on the moon, we own the moon. And we own space. So if you think your recent aspirations to try and re-puzzle the former Soviet Union back together through your aggression against former Soviet states, I have news for you. Perhaps your only way to world domination is to colonize Russians on the Moon. I hear the air is light, so when Putin prances around without his shirt on he can lift 1000lb boulders over his head as though he picked up a brick. Then you can ooh and ahh. Otherwise, shut the hell up. I will even send you some complimentary foil hats for trip.  Cheers – Little Man P.S. – This picture is a fake. I mean come on. We were on the moon, right?   ... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Prepare for the 2017 Putin/Obama Apocalypse

This week we look at truth in advertising. Many websites, blogs and organizations rely on advertising dollars to keep their ventures going. In some instances, some sites really don’t care who hocks what as long as they’re getting revenue. And many sell their email lists to advertisers. Take for example, Mr. Herman Cain. He of the $9.99 pizza and economic plan has gone all 6.66 on us. Last week, people who subscribe to his site received an email from an advertiser who has Cain’s subscription list offering a $50 apocalypse plan for the pending 2017 end of the US as we know it. So mark your calendars people and get your affairs in order. Shit’s gettin’ real.  According to the advertiser, Obama has been conspiring with church leaders (i.e. Pope Francis and others) to conceal the pending apocalypse where Vladimir Putin is going to drop an Electromagnetic Pulse bomb on the US which will disable all of our electronics. In other words, we will be in a state of panic not being able to check Facebook for new cat videos on our phones and tablets. That and there would be no electricity to speak of which would suck in the winter…. Then the Russians will invade the US and he predicts that 80% of the population will not survive. I suppose the 20% that do survive own cats. Because cats will not stand for Putin’s nonsense. So for a small price of $50, you too can purchase the “survival manual” to make you stealthily avoid being captured by the Ruskies and thereby avoiding “end times”.   First of all, Pope Francis? Really? He may the greatest Pope in the history of Popes. You think he is going to conceal anything? He’s outed more child molesters in the church than Perez Hilton outed gay actors in his blog.  Um, I’m not buying that one.  The bizarre part is that this is coming from a “biblical” scholar who indicates the Bible speaks of the mystery Babylon (aka the US, c’mon people) to include passages that reference WWI and WWII and Neil Armstrong on the moon! I’m not sure what passage that is but if anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great.  Listen, I’m all for advertising and making money, but when someone like Herman Cain who for a whole week and half led all Republican candidates in the 2012 primary season has his name attached to... read more

News of the Wee: People Deserving of a STFU Award

After a week away, I feel a bit refreshed. I also feel a growing anger inside my feline body. The past two weeks have shown some atrocious human behavior. As such, today I will hand out my awards to the person(s) that have invoked the most ire of the Wee. For their time and efforts, they will receive Wee’s cup of STFU. For those of you not familiar with this acronym, I highly recommend google. Wee has a reputation to maintain and while cursing is occasionally part of my kitten charm, I refuse to release the F bomb (unlike other countries/persons). Award #1: Ted Cruz. Wee has had enough of his nonsense. Officially. And here’s his gem of a quote on the FAA’s temporary ban of flights into Tel Aviv following a bomb that landed a mile from the airport. “President Obama has just used a federal regulatory agency to launch an economic boycott on Israel, in order to try to force our ally to comply with his foreign-policy demands.” Are you that *EXPLETIVE* dumb? The FAA’s decision to temporary halt flights until they had further information concerning the little bomb that was not intercepted by Israel’s famed “iron dome” would raise a little concern for safety of US citizens. Especially in light of what happened in the Ukraine last week. This is risk management 101. You don’t put American lives at risk in another country’s war zone. Do we want to risk a major catastrophe of American lives? Do we want to risk a major catastrophe of an American airline whose business would be decimated as a result of knowingly flying into a dangerous area without further investigation? And to suggest that Obama is able to pick up the phone and dictate policy to the FAA to politically “punish” an ally is not only patently false, but dangerous rhetoric to an already divisive situation. Seriously Ted, STFU already. We get that you have presidential aspirations and an ego that rivals the size of Texas. But STFU Grandpa Munster. Award #2: Michael Bloomberg. Who let this dictator midget have a platform again? Your stunt of flying into Tel Aviv despite the FAA temporary ban was bad form. First, you flew in on an Israeli airliner that has a missile defense system and the best security of any airline in the world. Would you have felt the same way flying into Tel Aviv on Delta where your only defense system... read more

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