Pope Francis Is The False Prophet? (Gasp)

Pope Francis, making his historic tour of Cuba and the US this week is coming under fire from conspiracy theorists who believe he may be the false prophet spoken of in the Bible. Except he isn’t, but we’ll humor the tin foils and explain their theories.    The visionary, who will remain anonymous, indicates she has been getting more and more visions of a celebrity dressed in “black” that is going to bring forth death and destruction. I’m assuming he or she is actually having visions of Steven Seagull since he basically killed his career. He always wore black in his movies and he always killed a lot of people. I think this “visionary” is off the mark here about Pope Francis.    Then this “visionary” indicates that she saw the “evil” man in black killed and then arising from the dead and his initials were JB or JC? She claims the pope, who’s actual name was Jorge Bergoglio, must be the JB!!! Francis I was a Jesuit and a “black pope”, so her visions about Pope Francis (taking the Francis name, doing evil stuff like telling people to love one another) must be true. He is the new black pope that will bring forth end times! (Me thinks she is actually mishearing the initials in her vision and that it’s actually JV which stands for Jason Voorhees of the Friday the 13th series. It would make sense because “Jason” was killing lots of people, then he gets killed. Then he somehow rises back to life again for yet another sequel. Yup. She’s not convincing me at all she is seeing Pope Francis).    Her visions are based upon the St Malachy Prophecies. St. Malachy was a 12th century bishop who said there would only be one more pope after Benedict. Being that Benedict was the last pope, then it would make sense that poor Francis is gonna be the last pope reigning over end times. Here’s an excerpt from the Irish Central that lays out the Malachy prophecy:    “The prediction in full is “In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations, after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End.” (Ok, none of the above makes any sense. Pope Francis surname is not Peter. What flock is he talking about? Sheep, Birds, Wocka... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesdays: Ok NOW The End Will Be In September

After a recent 6 million mile “close call” by an asteroid in May, comes the latest prediction of the apocalypse. So get out your best number 2 pencil or get your dry erase board marker ready and circle the month of September of 2015. In fact, mark up the week of September 22-28 to be exact.  It will start with a giant asteroid. One that is not even on NASA’s radar or list of presently known risks. But never mind science. PFFFT! Once this “asteroid” hits it will set off a cataclysmic climate change that will allow the Illuminati to begin their evil plan of New World Order. My question is what if the Illuminati is actually wiped out by this fictitious asteroid? Then what Tin Foil Hat wearers?  It gets better. The asteroid ushers in the beginning of the Rapture and the commencement of the 7- year Tribulation. Next comes the Illuminati, the revelation of the Beast and our favorite Pope of all time, Francis will assume the role of the “False Prophet” found in the Book of Revelations.  Even Jade Helm 15 (see prior post) is now the apparent precursor to the Rapture. The “not-so- secret” military exercises are now going to be “seeding the atmosphere” in preparation for the asteroid. I suppose Jade Helm is the gasoline and the giant asteroid is the match. But the government already knows that since they are the “elite” that will form the New World Order immediately following the asteroid. They haven’t told us about this clearly because we would flood Walmart stores for beef jerky and raid online retailers that sell gas masks and hazmet protective gear. And we would withdraw all of our money in the banks to hide under our mattresses causing the ultimate financial collapse of the markets. So shhhhh, it’s a secret people.  So to recap; Jade Helm starting in July is the precursor to the big scary asteroid hit in September which will usher in horrible climate disasters, the Illuminati, The Beast and Pope Francis as the evil False Prophet. That should take us to December and by then, people will be ready to start their annual Christmas shopping goat rodeo. And going about life as though this conspiracy theory never existed. And never happened.  My little head hurts from the stupidity. Hold me mommy.  – Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Prepare for the 2017 Putin/Obama Apocalypse

This week we look at truth in advertising. Many websites, blogs and organizations rely on advertising dollars to keep their ventures going. In some instances, some sites really don’t care who hocks what as long as they’re getting revenue. And many sell their email lists to advertisers. Take for example, Mr. Herman Cain. He of the $9.99 pizza and economic plan has gone all 6.66 on us. Last week, people who subscribe to his site received an email from an advertiser who has Cain’s subscription list offering a $50 apocalypse plan for the pending 2017 end of the US as we know it. So mark your calendars people and get your affairs in order. Shit’s gettin’ real.  According to the advertiser, Obama has been conspiring with church leaders (i.e. Pope Francis and others) to conceal the pending apocalypse where Vladimir Putin is going to drop an Electromagnetic Pulse bomb on the US which will disable all of our electronics. In other words, we will be in a state of panic not being able to check Facebook for new cat videos on our phones and tablets. That and there would be no electricity to speak of which would suck in the winter…. Then the Russians will invade the US and he predicts that 80% of the population will not survive. I suppose the 20% that do survive own cats. Because cats will not stand for Putin’s nonsense. So for a small price of $50, you too can purchase the “survival manual” to make you stealthily avoid being captured by the Ruskies and thereby avoiding “end times”.   First of all, Pope Francis? Really? He may the greatest Pope in the history of Popes. You think he is going to conceal anything? He’s outed more child molesters in the church than Perez Hilton outed gay actors in his blog.  Um, I’m not buying that one.  The bizarre part is that this is coming from a “biblical” scholar who indicates the Bible speaks of the mystery Babylon (aka the US, c’mon people) to include passages that reference WWI and WWII and Neil Armstrong on the moon! I’m not sure what passage that is but if anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great.  Listen, I’m all for advertising and making money, but when someone like Herman Cain who for a whole week and half led all Republican candidates in the 2012 primary season has his name attached to... read more

News of the Wee: Fighting the War On Skinny Jeans

Wee and her counterparts at wishes everyone a Happy Easter. I’m going to forego my normal Op-Ed on the week’s news in favor of following Pope Francis’s message about ending violence with a plea for peace. With all of the turmoil going on in the world, today is a good day to reflect on what each of us can do individually to help spread this message in the coming year. Change starts with an individual. Be kind to people different from you. Try to avoid judgment based upon what someone looks like. Try not to project your beliefs on others. Be Tolerant. Be Loving. Be Respectful. Everyone has their own cross to bear in this world. Be Mindful.  Enjoy your day with your family and friends.    Headlines WEEEE Loved this Week:   The Easter bunny has been eaten by a giant lizard Oh NO!!! Sorry kids, there will be no Easter egg hunt this year. Instead you will be chased through the fields by what can only be described as mini-Godzilla.   Escaped pig blocks Burger King drive-through in Pa. Humans were not the only ones that heard about their new “chicken fries”. The Ferrellton, PA Burger King had to call for assistance as an angry pig paraded around the parking lot snarling and snapping at people. Similar to cows encouraging people to eat more chicken at Chik-Fil-A, Mr. Pig is advocating you eat more cows at Burger King and stop visiting BBQ joints for pulled pork. Genius marketing pigs.   Isis has declared war on skinny jeans Ah c’mon ISIS, skinny jeans? Really? I have a better idea, why don’t you declare a war on mom jeans? Those are absolutely hideous.   From the Metro UK, comes this funny headline and even funnier accompanying photo: Cat can’t believe that owners have had a new baby                                                                      WTF is this??? Humans answer me now Enjoy your week peeps! And enjoy peeps today! xoxox – Wee (the Queen)... read more