Tin Foil Tuesday: And the Oscar Goes to……………ME!!!!!

  Today is Tuesday here in Little Man’s world, or as mommy likes to call it, LA LA Land. Yes, THE story this week is the huge bungle at the Oscars that Steve Harveyed it’s way through the Best Picture nomination. First, it was announced LA LA Land was the bestest movie of the year only to find out it wasn’t and that Moonlight was actually the bestest movie. This debacle had all the Hollywood peoples saying WTF? And all of the hooman viewers saying WTF? And all of the feline viewers saying YAWN, did I miss something while I slept? So what happened?  Conspiracies galore flooded Twitter much like water flooded the SS Poseidon and ruined Shelly Winter’s dress (but unlike La La Land, she actually won the Oscar for that role so HA!). Here are the conspiratheories we find most compelling:  1). Jimmy Kimmel did it. After all, this will be the most talked about Oscars for years to come. He will forever be remembered as the host of the goofiest show ever. He will be invited back next year for ratings with masses tuning in to see whether they will screw it up again. Job security. He had motive.  2). Matt Damon did it. His longstanding faux feud with Kimmel is the perfect foil for Damon to exact his revenge. While that would be amazing, it’s not the likely he would sabotage his friend. Especially since he produced the heralded Manchester By The Sea. He didn’t have motive.  3). Leonardo DiCaprio totally did it. While he did finally win Oscar gold for The Revenant, he was overlooked for years. He was also allegedly the last one to have the envelope, so…………… 4). Warren Beatty and Fay Dunaway totally Bonnie and Clyded this one. It’s too perfect of a “heist” for it not to be true. If nothing else, they “stole” the show right out from under Kimmel.  And finally……….. 5). Donald Trump did it. The ultimate revenge for a season of award shows bashing his Presidency. He finally wins the game of karma. Except he wasn’t there and probably didn’t watch any coverage until his 3 am twitter alarm woke him up.  My take? Neither of these films should have won. The best picture of the year was Hacksaw Ridge hands down. Followed closely only by the video of me chasing my tail. Until next year…………. Cheers – Little... read more

News of the Wee: Oscars Edition

Well folks, is it me or are the Oscars on insanely early this year? So much so, I probably would’ve missed it had there not been an ad for it. I did a terrible job picking the winners last year. But then again, I picked anyone that had an unpronounceable name just so I could see the presenter screw their name up (kitty snicker). So this year, I will just quickly surmise the Best Picture Oscar Noms so that we can focus on other things; like Little Man Occupying Space. I don’t mean the final frontier. I mean my personal space. He is relentless this week…………..   Best Picture Nominees:  “American Sniper” – the story of famed sniper, Chris Kyle who was killed by the very person he tried to help when he came home after several tours of duty.  It’s the nominated film that has snuffed out all box office competition thus far in 2015. Complex tale of both American heroism and the fragile psyche of a flawed human man. Bradley Cooper is so underrated. – 4 paws “Birdman” – Weird movie and ending, but I liked it and it was totally carried by Michael Keaton’s return to relevance. He is underrated as an actor as well, but I can’t pick him over Bradley Cooper’s tortured performance. A good resurrection vehicle after his years as Batman. Birdman is just a dumbass though. – 3.5 Paws “Boyhood” – A movie that felt like it lasted the 12 years it took to film. If you want sit in a chair for three hours watching a movie where nothing really happens, might I suggest a hobby?  Or just watch your own life, it’s probably a tad bit more interesting than this litter pile. 2 Paws (I’m sorry I just didn’t get the hype).  “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – Weird, bizarre, at times amusing, several WTF moments. But Best Picture? Ummm. On what planet? If you like to come away from a movie wondering what the hell you just watched? Or you enjoy dropping acid or eating shrooms on a random Saturday afternoon, then you will probably enjoy this film. 2.5 Paws  “The Imitation Game” – The story is equal parts decoding Nazi messages and the underlying treatment of homosexuality during and post WWII. Chemical castration? Really? Sad on all fronts; Nazi persecution, non-Nazi persecution. Cumberbatch is nuanced in this role, very powerful. 3.5 Paws (4 for Cumberbatch).  “Selma” – Spectacular. Moving.... read more

News of the Wee: The Rest of the Oscars

What the hell is an Oscar anyway? And how did it get to be the end all be all of existence for actors? They now have an “Oscars” for kitty movies. Grumpy Cat won the Golden Kitty this year. I like Grump, but if you’re going to compare Snowshoe Kitties, do you really want a one note frowning cat that does nothing else? I didn’t think so. I have looks, brains and catitude! Roll ball of tape……… I’ve decided to pick the remaining Oscar category winners based upon who has the coolest name (read most unpronounceable) Why? Because I have a date with a nap. Best Actor – Chiwetel Ejiofor. Insert evil laugh…Good luck to poor Jennifer Lawrence pronouncing that one. She will flub it in a way that only a charmer like her can do. People will forget he actually won the Oscar and she will give an acceptance speech instead. Best Actress- Bullocks. I just want last year’s best actor Daniel Day-Lewis to say it over and over again in his weird Lincoln accent. Seriously? I expected Lincoln to be much more butch. The prospect of a high- pitched Lincoln saying the English slang word for testicles over and over again has kitty biting tongue. Best Supporting Actor – Barkhad Abdi. Again, kitty snicker….Give the poor thing something gold that he can sell and live like a king in Somalia. Let us also revel in another Anne Hathaway Oscar calamity announcing this one. Best Supporting Actress – Lupita Nyong’o. Insert visual of kitty rolling at this point after a good batch of nip. Again the name should be announced by Christoph Waltz in his award winning evil Nazi voice. And finally………. Best Director – Just give it to Alfonso Cuaron. He made a movie in space for crap sake. How on earth do you film anything when it’s flying at you at mach speed. How do you keep your actors from gratuitously vomiting for hours upon end. It was filmed in space, right? Or was that Arizona? Wee confused. Nap….Wee….Out..... read more