Tin Foil Tuesday: NASA Is Trying to Hide ET Again (Gasp!)

  There had been rumors that NASA would be shutting down the live camera feeds from the International Space Station due to alleged “budget” cuts, but it still hasn’t happened. Suckers…UFO nutters across the globe are screaming that NASA wants to shut down the cameras solely because there’s been too much traffic on the galaxy highway as of late. Oh and because humans really can’t handle the truth. The only ones that would profit from humans finding out about aliens would be Fruit of the Loom and Pampers because we would all collectively crap our pants (or diapers) if we knew what was really out there.  There have been several instances over the past two years where NASA’s feed suddenly fades to blue about the time when it’s picking up an ET’s Space Ferrari, Predator’s Porsche or Alf’s Alfa Romeo. The most recent video from September 30 shows a blue orb coming into the picture just before the camera goes out……….Again……….Conveniently…. To indulge myself, I went over to ufologist Streetcap1 on You Tube for the full video. I will let you decide. But from the looks of his other videos on there, the truth is clearly out there. HOLY GUACAMOLE! So rally your inner Scully and go kick Mulder in his skeptical badonkadonk……… As for ET? I request a prompt pick up from this planet before a new President is elected.  There’s only 37 days left before Armageddon. Pick me! Pick me!  Cheers – Little Man       ... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: This Mars Thing Is Fishy?

Well it’s now September 29 and we’re all still here; thus debunking several conspiracy theories that we would be dead by asteroid or by financial collapse and chaos. So nice try wacko birds. This week we turn our attention to the awesome NASA news announced yesterday that there is evidence of salt water on Mars. And if there is existence of water on the planet, could evidence of life be far behind? Me thinks that is the case. A couple of screwy conspiracies have popped up after the announcement that we find worthy of discussion. So here we go………   Conspiracy Nutty Buddy #1: “NASA is covering up alien base on Mars.    Yes, you heard that right. In a seemingly slight of hand trick, NASA has apparently found an alien colony and metaphorically pooped themselves. They couldn’t possibly let this information out, so they came up with a cover story of the discovery of water on the red planet. Reddit in particular was an explosion of tin foil hat enthusiasts (or possible trolls, jokesters) about how the scientists were unable to confirm how the water got on the cliffs and craters and that it had to be supported by an underground water supply and thus run by an underground alien colony. BOOM! Take that NASA….you’ve been had.    The best part of this Mirror UK article is that scientists want to put a man on Mars and soon. Several readers suggested we declare war on Mars and there would be boots on the ground within a year! Especially considering these colonized aliens clearly harbor Weapons of Mass Destruction….For more on this…..     Conspiracy #2: This announcement has strange timing…..ahem Matt Damon.    The knowledge of this water discovery has been a couple months in the making. Why wait so long to make the announcement to the general public? Oh yeah, that Martian movie which is coming out this weekend. What a perfect way to generate excitement about both the red planet AND a fictitious movie about the red planet starring Matt Damon. You will be inclined to see the movie so you can learn more about the planet. Except a lot of it will probably be super made up.    So why the marketing tie-in? Here’s my take. The movie is directed by Ridley Scott. He of the original groundbreaking Alien movie who hasn’t had a bonafide hit since Gladiator. He also wants to remind... read more

News of the Wee: Second Edition

It was a fairly slow week of news in the world. The Olympics ended (thank god, no more gratuitous shots of pompous Putin), fighting stopped in the Ukraine (for a few days until Russia invades) and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer rightly vetoed the worst bill to ever pass through legislation. So this week, I will focus on some of the more mundane or bizarre stories of the week: Wee on the World’s First Beekeeping Donkey: Still an Ass Wee on NASA finding 715 new planets: Oh please find me one where there are no idiots. Wee on Ted Nugent calling the President a “subhuman mongrel”: May he succumb one day soon to Cat Scratch Fever on his Wango Tango. Wee on the wave of Floridians that don’t understand the purpose of 911: In the same week, a woman calls 911 over uncooked waffles while another calls to solicit sex from a police officer. Perhaps its time for cell phone companies to auto install an alcohol breathalyzer app on all phones sold in Florida. If you are too drunk to call 911, its probably not an emergency. If you are legally drunk, the app will automatically dial and connect you to Pizza Hut’s closest store. Wee on Taco Bell’s new breakfast waffle taco: When diarrhea after 3am’s ingestion just wasn’t enough for you. Sell stock shares in any laxative companies. They won’t be needed anymore. Wee on same-sex marriage being legally recognized in Kentucky: Protestors don’t worry, that means soon your marriage to your brother/sister will also be recognized as legal. And that my friends, recaps the News of the Wee. I’ll be back after the Oscars with my usual snarky... read more