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Super Tin Foil Tuesday: JonBenet is Really Katy Perry? WTF?

  The motherlode of all wackadoodle conspiracy theories came out of US Weekly last week. The tabloid scandal mag reported that a You Tube conspirator posted a video claiming JonBenet was never actually murdered and instead became the famed pop star best known now for introducing the world to the famed Super Bowl doofus dancing Left Shark. Yes, I know you’re sitting there scratching your head and no you don’t have lice.  The posters “evidence” includes the fact that Katy’s parents look eerily similar to JonBenet’s parents, John and Pat Ramsey. Hmmm, Ummmkay.   OMG the resemblance is uncanny!!!!! Bwahhaaaa Another poster commented that had to be true because their eyebrows are very similar. Yeah…..go on……Since these two pieces of evidence are clearly overwhelmingly true (yawn), I will leave you with the video if you have a spare 7 minutes to devote to this assertion that the parents of JonBenet, the cops, the prosecutors are all a bunch of liars. Or better yet, I’ll save you your 7 minutes and just say, WOW, tin foil hat... read more

Little Man Occupies His Bed During the Super Bowl

I would first like to congratulate Midget McGee for her almost perfect prediction of the Super Bowl winner and final score. One number off. You are a soothsayer oh little Midge. I however, slept through most of the Super Bowl. I did awake for the half time show to see dancing sharks and a flying Katy Perry because lets face it, that was the highlight for a kitty visually. I am glad to see the NFL season end, it kinda sucked. Cheaters won. NFL image is tarnished by reprehensible behavior of star players and let’s face it, it all starts with the Commish. I watched his press conference where he belittled Rachel Nichols for asking a legitimate question surrounding a conflict of interest in NFL investigations paid by the NFL. Would he have responded to a male journalist in the same almost mocking manner?  Mommy says the NFL is risking alienating a large percentage of the fan base, namely women. But yet, this year’s Super Bowl attracted the largest viewing audience ever. This is how we reward bad behavior in the world?  So it won’t change. The owners are making a shit-ton of money as is Goodell. So cue Jessie J, cause it really is all about the money. So I say……NO to the NFL and YES to the continuance of naps instead. Little Man is out…..peace.... read more

Wee Mishears Song Lyrics: All The Time

You know that irritating friend or family member that is constantly screwing up words to songs? Making up shit that’s plausible and probably better suited to the song and much more entertaining. Yeah, that’s me. I wake mommy up somewhere between 4:30 and 5:00 am with my singing. All she seems to hear is Meow this and Meow that, but I’m actually singing songs I’ve heard on her Ipod or on TV. For example: Roar-I’ve got the rye or the kaiser, what’s whiter, prancing through a tireCause I am a chan yung and you’re gonna hear Wee roar…. I can’t figure out that last Chinese part. Wrecking Ball-I put your pie up in my eyeAnd now, its turning brownIt slowly burned, you left me fernsAnd now, we’re asses on the prowl Miley can’t seem to avoid screwing up making pastries….do you need to bake with ferns and asses? Thrift Shop-I’m gonna pop right nowonly got 20 dollars in my sock drawerI-I-Im punting, looking for a rum drunkThis is f******* awesome I really only understand the last line of the song. You have to admit, none of y’all knew the rest of the lyrics either. Let it Wee-When the night is dark and mommy’s, still in bed with Mr. BeanWinging kurds of frizz ballsLet her WEE It’s an ode to incontinence and aging I guess. Mommy gets up more now than Clinton’s little Prez did while in the White House. Ho Hey –I belong with shoes, you belong with Wee in my sweet car….. Royals –But everybody’s like: Cristal, meth baths, diamonds on your lime sheets, red plates, eyeballs, tigers on a cold beach We don’t care, we’re not brought up with a glove up there And Wee will never be Loyal..  I think that last line speaks for itself…. I will be back soon with screw ups to 80′s lyrics. Those are a dooz…..xoxo... read more

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