search
top

Tin Foil Tuesday: Was Marilyn Monroe Whacked By The CIA? (GASP!)

  This week’s trip ticket to Nutterville (population of 1; me) takes us to a newly released documentary titled “Unacknowledged” that makes the outrageous claim that the CIA may have offed Marilyn Monroe. Was it because of her affairs with the Kennedy brothers? Ummmm, sort of?  The documentary makes the case that during one of Monroe’s “pillow talk” sessions with Jack, she became privy to information that she shouldn’t have had. Like that JFK had seen debris from an ET vehicle at a “secret airbase” (Roswell, cough).  The film follows Dr. Steven Greer, a leading UFO nutter who connects the dots between Monroe’s death and an alleged top secret CIA memo that was issued two days prior to her untimely death ruled as an “overdose”. Like an overdose of truth maybe? The theory that the CIA may have had a hand in her death has some plausibility given what we know today about the rampant government intrusion into our private lives. The documentary goes on to “theorize” that Monroe felt spurned by Jack and was threatening to hold a press conference to talk about the alien cover-up. The CIA listening in on this conversation(like a bunch of old dirty perves expecting a different exchange) were worried about this development and simply decided………………………     Completely pawsauble, right? But this is just one part of the movie. It’s actually a documentary on the “Disclosure Project” that focuses on why the government ruthlessly enforces the spread or dissemination of any information showing that aliens exist and the depths they will go to make sure no person (or cat) finds out the truth. Yeah, I’m gonna have to run out and watch this documentary, like now. And I’m going to probably have to stop talking and writing about the Disclosure Project because I could become the first cat to die of an “overdose”. Watch at your own peril.  – Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Will The Election Finally Kill My Blog? Gasp!

  Well folks, its finally here. After 18 months of utter gutter politics, for better or worse, tomorrow we will elect a new President. Its been the most grueling span of campaigning that has aged me 7 years in the process. No, I’m serious. I’m a cat. According to the human calculators I went from 20 to 27 in just 18 months. The rapid aging of a cat compared to humans should be its own conspiracy. So as we approach the finish line, we look back at all of the election conspiracies that have brought chuckles, horror and countless hours of entertainment for me. Many of these have been covered this year in previous blogs.  1). Trump is a plant to destroy the Republican Party so that Hillary wins the Presidency. (If he’s a plant, I hope he is one that is not poisonous to cats. I hope in fact, he is cat nip).  2). Ted Cruz’s dad Rafael conspired with Oswald to kill JFK (second gunman on the grassy knoll anyone? Or did he just get a grassy knoll stain on his pants. That hill can be slippery).  3). Donald is in bed with the Russians to destroy the Democratic Party and a Hillary President (Can’t be true. Putin is only a 4 on a good day.) 4). Was Scalia murdered? (Naw…..but his murder destroyed democracy and the future of the Supreme Court as Congress will likely never appoint his replacement).  5). Syrian Refugees bill ISIS for their cell phones (is that something I can look into? Have you seen the nonsense data charges these companies charge consumers? We would defeat ISIS solely on bankrupting them with our cell phone bills. Boom! War on Terror solved).  6). Christmas Has Disappeared (Um, have you been to any store lately? Christmas started in October before mommy could even buy Halloween decorations. Christmas is alive and well my friends).  7). Hillary has a healthy body double! (I hope that woman has governing experience then).  8). Obama is gonna cancel the 2016 election (some days I wish it would be true. Its like America became a reality show that I hoped would be non-renewed for next season). 9). Hillary is the reptilian queen that is chosen to lead the world (Will she appoint the Geico Gecko to her Cabinet? Godzilla as Secretary of Defense?). 10). Ted Cruz is actually Robert Kardashian Sr. (for his sake I hope its not true. that’s a... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Rafael Cruz Sr Killed JFK (Gasp!)? (But Probably Not)

  Its been more than 50 years since JFK was assassinated and we are no closer to the truth then we were when it happened. This is officially one of the oldest conspiracy theories on the planet and yet we continue to see new and fresh conspiracies coming out of the woodwork like termites in a log cabin. You see, JFK conspiracy theories are a lot like a cake coming out of an Easy Bake oven; mostly half-baked and very hard to swallow.   In the past 50 years we have seen the following person(s) implicated in Kennedy’s killing:   Lee Harvey Oswald Second Gunmen on the grassy knoll The Mafia The Cubans The Russians The Russians in cahoots with the Cubans LBJ The CIA The Illuminati (how can we leave them out?) Little Green Men (yes ET did it, phone home my ass!) Jackie Kennedy (that will solve any zipper problem)   But I bet you haven’t heard the new one about Rafael Cruz Sr (not Rafael “Teddy boy” Jr who may or may not ever be President) being somehow linked to Kennedy’s death? Yup, me either, until I did today.   You see, Rafael Sr was an anti-Castro activist. And maybe Rafael, given his possible anti-Castro activism was recruited by the CIA into more nefarious activities? If you believe the CIA killed Kennedy, then maybe……..   And further more, where was Rafael (Sr, not Jr who may or may not be in the DC madam’s phone book) prior to the assassination in November 1963? Hmm, possibly in a grainy photo with Lee Harvey Oswald passing out “Hands off Cuba” propaganda pamphlets to people in New Orleans. Oh burn. There was a second gunmen on the grassy knoll after all. Except I’ve looked at the photos and will let you do the same to draw your own conclusion.   My conclusion is that I can’t even pick out which guy in this photo is Lee Harvey Oswald let alone Rafael Cruz Sr with hair in the 1960’s. It could be any Cuban guy. It could even be a mafia guy. It might even be Gilbert Gottfried? Further review with trusted ball-crusher Snopes seems to indicate that there really is not much merit to this conspiracy. So keep trying Kennedy Conspirators. Perhaps next week, you will find evidence that implicates the great-grandfather of Justin Beiber or possibly conclude that OJ was the real killer (finally) of Kennedy. Until then, I will... read more

WeeeNN 2016: The Presidential Blame Game

Its time for the new WeeeNN game show, The Presidential Blame Game, where the Kibble Party faces off on which President is to blame for our ails in this country. There’s really no right or wrong answer and the end conclusion is that each President has left us a short term legacy that may seem golden or rosy, but whose policies were ultimately fraught with long term consequences. So, let’s begin! MC Mommy: Which President do you feel is most to blame for 9/11?  Little Man: George W. Bush. It happened on his watch, right? That and it was an inside job. Conspiracy!  Bean: Clinton. He had a chance to take out Osama Bin Laden following the 1993 WTC bombing and was asleep at the wheel allowing him to continue his mastermind of 9/11. He was too busy getting his freak on to notice the scary undercurrent of what was going on around him.  Wee: Reagan. In an effort to assist Afghanistan when the Ruskies invaded in 1980, we armed and trained the Mujahideen. All those weapons and military training for their jihad against Russia ultimately backfired on us when they used that training against us.  MC Mommy: I will give a point to Bean and Wee. Little Man, inside job? Really? Kibble for entertainment. Ok next question, whose policies may have been contributors to the world financial meltdown in 2008?  Little Man: George Bush. He’s responsible for everything, right? He spent us into a black hole with the unnecessary invasion of Iraq in 2004. He also allowed a Republican controlled Congress to spend irresponsibly throughout their reign of financial terror in his first semester.  Bean: Once again, it was Bill Clinton’s policies that included deregulation of banks and financial firms that allowed them to become “too big to fail”. On the other hand then, he failed to regulate derivatives that ultimately caused firms like AIG to get to the brink of collapse. That and the whole mortgage derivative shell game played by Wall Street and horrible lending practices by banks handing out mortgages to anyone that applied. I put the blame ultimately on Clinton.  Wee: Reagan. I love him so, but similar to Clinton he was responsible for massive deregulation that resulted in horrible business practices that Clinton continued and made worse. So I will give the nod to Reagan that started this hamster wheel. Regulation has to be a balance. In the absence of regulation, humans succumb... read more

top