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Fireside Chat with Wee: The Immigration Debate

I originally planned and carefully designed my position on immigration when I first announced I was running for President. Then a mishap with a delete key caused by a tired paw completely erased my brilliant plan. Oy. So I begin a new. With a fresh blank page and more perspective. And so I write. I know that I may alienate some fans, but we don’t always have to agree on issues. I don’t agree with Bean and Little Man half the time. But we still groom each other after having our occasional kerfuffle.  I’m blatantly ripping off Reagan. He, similar to Obama, announced an amnesty program for the millions of illegals already here with the message to Congress that we can’t put the genie back in the bottle. So get busy passing legislation to reform our policy to include shoring up our borders. Sounds pretty damn sensible, huh? Well Congress, in their usual fashion, passed any opportunities to do so like it was a raging inferno hot potato and never followed through. And this trend continued through the next 25 or so years where no one with any cajones has put forth comprehensive reform on immigration. So I will provide the following framework for which they need to get their act together. It’s not getting any better!! 1). It’s time to bring all of our troops home. Let our troops have jobs, right here in the US helping secure our border. They will be home with their families and they will not be subjected to lunatic goat lovers in the Middle East deserts who want nothing more than American blood. We don’t need a wall. We have the best GD military in the world who would gladly protect this country’s porous borders which would also allow them to have a more normal life. It would also improve the strain on the Veteran’s healthcare who wouldn’t have so many of our soldiers treating for horrific life-changing injuries and lifelong battles with PTSD.  2). Design a sensible path to a legal citizenship status that doesn’t consist of a map that’s written in Chinese. I have seen too many good people that come to this country, work their butts off, pay taxes and wonder how on earth they can navigate a maze that involves a dog and a tail. IF you want to be here and you want to work hard and pay taxes like the rest of us, then make it... read more

WeeeNN 2016: Donald Trump Looks to Be “Hired”

It’s officially out of control folks. Donald Trump has now hijacked the clown bus and is taking everyone on a tour of the absurd. The Kibble Party weighs in on what is shaping up to be more like a reality show than an election.  Wee: Will his hair be his first lady?  Bean: Will he bring George, Don Jr and Ivanka in as his cabinet?  Little Man: He only declared bankruptcy 4 times over his career. Perhaps he is looking to bankrupt a 5th. This time America.  Wee: In terms of jobs, he can create them. But what jobs? Employing people to build a Trump hotel on every street corner of America? Building golf courses and bottling Trump water?  Bean: His presence is going to be a thorn in every other candidate’s side. Can you imagine him in a debate? I can. It could be more brutal than the boardroom in The Apprentice. He might fire some of the clowns on the stage in real time. The DVR is already programmed for the debates. That is; should he make it to the varsity team.  Little Man: Hey, at least he doesn’t have any billionaire backers. He IS the backer. He’s rich as sin.  Wee: He has a “fool-proof” plan to get rid of ISIS, but he’s not gonna give away his secret. I suspect his plan involves partnering with Richard Branson to send them to Mars to create their own caliphate.  Bean: He’s gonna bring back all of the jobs from China, Japan and everywhere else. He’s gonna print his own money. Instead of putting a woman on a 20 dollar bill, we will get to see his mug on his own currency. The dollar will be renamed the Trump.  Little Man: He will tackle illegal immigration by using his hair as a wall to keep people out.  Bottom Line:  Wee: It’s officially the Circapocalypse. Serious. The big tent is now under a giant bomb threat. It’s spectacular.  Bean: He’s gonna take the attention from actual serious candidates that are policy wonks that actually have legitimate ideas to improve our country. This is bad for the brand. Both Republican and Trump.  Little Man: YOU’RE FIRED!... read more

News of the Wee: Who the Hell Does That?

I hope everyone survived the apocalypse that was the 4th of July. For me,  9 straight hours of mortar shells going off, but luckily the house was still intact at the end. Not that mommy was home or cared or anything. I think she was out getting her own bomb on while we suffered through endless rebel conditions. News a bit slower this week. I’ll blame the holiday. And this disastrous new lamp I just knocked off the table and broke chasing Little Man…OOPS. Wee on the endless speculation of Lebron James returning to Cleveland. Seriously people? We need to talk. This is the only athlete in the history of pro athletes that had his own 1 hour Televised special toying with the fragile emotions of Cleveland sports fans. He culminated his knighting by taking a big dump on the fans at the end by announcing he was leaving for greener pastures in Miami. Who the hell does that? There have been a lot of treasonous athletes that have left Cleveland (or so mommy says), but I can’t think of any reason, desperate or otherwise, that fans would want that asshat back. And if you do, you are suffering from battered housewife syndrome (an actual logical analogy Palin). Plus now he will be 30. But yet, it will probably happen…and he will probably get an early season old ass man injury… and the depression continues in Ohio. ….PAWSMACK Wee on Brazil’s unceremonious megaloss in their very own World Cup: Way to go Brazilian players. Your country has spent bazillion of dollars in preparation for the World Cup and at the expense of the excessive poverty and economic problems in your country. You could’ve at least fought for a draw. Now, you have no championship and 12 lousy stadiums. Only 2 of which will probably ever be used again. BOOOO. Go Argentina….Lionel Messi speaks to cats telepathically. He said they will win. Wee on the Gaza Strip I’d rather not be on it. Seriously, this could be the start of WWIII. I would rather see the zombie apocalypse start than be caught on “the strip” right now. Right now, any involvement by the US would be the equivalent of sticking your hand in between two fighting pit bulls. Who the hell does that? Wee a bit concerned about the Middle East right now. Been taking extra nip hits to reduce my growing anxiety. Wee on the increasing humanitarian crisis on... read more

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