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The Kibble Party’s State of the Union

  Over the past week or so we’ve seen Obama’s final State of the Union and two debates. The Kibble Party sits down to discuss the State of our Union as we barrel closer to the Iowa Caucus on February 1st.  On the State of the Union.  Wee: State of the Union speech was happy, shiny, shitting rainbows. It was a fitting end to hope and change, but right now with the market tanking and the threat of terrorism rising, I think the country is ready for change. Like coins, my funds are taking a beating. Thanks China. Hey but gas is cheap and will be even cheaper soon after Iran floods the market with too much supply.  Bean: Agree. Obama gave a nice uplifting speech that is at odds of the temperature in the country. He looks exhausted. Maybe even too exhausted to golf.  Little Man: I kept looking at the striped ties of Biden, Obama and Ryan and they looked like a good move on Candy Crush. Tasty, Delicious.    On the Republican debate:  Wee: Infinitely more interesting than the Democratic debate if for nothing but the semblance of a  5th grade food fight in the lunch room. I didn’t hear anything new, so I switched over to Rand Paul’s  protest broadcast. He deserved to be on the stage, but the RNC continues to try and cram barely polling establishment candidates down the voter’s throats. I will stand with Rand on this one for refusing to attend the barely watched kitty debate.  Bean: I thought it was substantive and showcased the end of the bromance between Trump and Cruz. You’re a Canadian, You have liberal New York Values. I’m still on the stage (Jeb). The establishment candidates are in trouble.  Little Man: I didn’t watch it. I Tivo’d the Bachelor and watched it instead. They should give out roses to the candidates and send one packing after each debate. I’d tune in then. But you’d also have to ply them full of alcohol and endure men crying. No thanks.    On the Democratic Debate: Wee: Listening to Hillary’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard at this point. Although she has the experience, has good answers and is probably the most qualified of all candidates to be President, I just can’t get excited about her. Too much baggage.  Plus, who puts a debate on Sunday night? After sneaking through the two prior debates on Caturdays where no... read more

WeeeNN 2016: The Debate Hour One Recap

And we’re off!  Jake Tapper as the emcee going over the rules including that they can now debate (fight) one another.  Intros……yawn. Kibble. Who the hell dressed Ben Carson? Worst dressed of the night. Donald touting his book “Art of the Deal” again. Sounded like Cruz said he has a husband named Heidi. I had to scratch my ears to hear better. Scott Walker invokes the first Reagan (drink) although I don’t think he fits in the pocket of Reagan let alone shoes. Love Carly’s dress, Best Dressed. How does she look so good at 61? Kasich was actually on Reagan’s plane when he was alive, ha ha Walker! Chris Christie redirects the cameras to the audience so they don’t see him cram in that last donut.  Carly is up first, Trump bashing question. She doesn’t bite. And turns the table on Jake. Bam.  Trump says Rand Paul shouldn’t be here. Government needs to be run like a business. Says he has good temperament.  Paul punches back about Careless Whispers. Trump is a sophomoric boob that shouldn’t be near the red nuclear button. Trump doesn’t attack Paul on his appearance, but then does anyway.  Trump says he’s number one, Pataki couldn’t be a dog catcher.  Bush rips off Carly’s answer pivots to Obama (smart) instead of taking the Donald red button gotcha question.  Walker doesn’t need an Apprentice in the White House (good joke writer). Trump punches back on how back Walker sucks in Wisconsin. Record matters Walker, bend over and take a Trump spanking. Walker says Donald’s a liar liar pants on fire. Walker says he is doing great in WI. So there.  Kasich scolds the debaters acting like school children and scolds the debate monitors. Get to the issues already you children. Tells us to turn off the debate.  Christie wakes up everyday with Democratic guns in his face in NJ. Vetos everything the Dems do in the NJ legislature. But its not about him, its about us!  Carson concerned about the divisiveness in this country (how about on this stage, Ben?). Doesn’t want to describe who’s a phony and who’s not. Carly jumps in and says the people support the Outsiders because they like Pony Boy and want to Stay Gold. And no one challenges the status quo.  Bush has to answer for being a puppet of billionaire donors. Says they support him because he rocks it like a hurricane. Rats out Trump for not getting a... read more

Fireside Chat with Wee: The Debate Over the Debates

The debate over the debates is one topic that people will continue to debate over the next several months. With the first Republican primary debate set to kick off in August of this year, several networks including Fox News and CNN are going to narrow down the anticipated crowded field of 18-20 down to the 10 top pollers. Here’s where the controversy comes in; Whose poll do you use? An independent poll? A newspaper poll? A network popularity poll? I give my thoughts on how they should fairly and justly narrow down the candidate pool for the debates.    I think all 20 candidates should have to first participate in a game show to narrow down who should be in the debate. First, start with making every one of them take the US Citizenship test we give to naturalized citizen candidates. If any of them fail, deport them immediately. They’re not only not fit for the Presidency, but not fit to be a citizen in this country.   Next, the remaining contestants go through an interview competition like Miss America (and HELL NO, there will be no swimsuit competition). The audience votes which contestants’ answer they like by putting them through to the next round. The audience can conversely push a button to open a trap door in the floor to quickly rid them of any candidates that do not have a good answer to basic problem solving. The criteria is substance and policy and not rhetoric and generic comments. Tell us HOW you would solve a problem; not just tell us you will in some spectacularly flaming ambiguous sound bite. If you don’t have a plan; enjoy your trap door chute slide ride home.    Finally, any remaining contestants will participate in a Jeopardy-style question and answer game with the following 6 categories; Economics and Jobs, Foreign Policy, Terrorism, Infrastructure, The Constitution and Potpourri. Seriously, whomever nails this part of the game should be the candidate. Anyone with a negative score at the end of the game prior to Final Jeopardy is also deported from the country. Let Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek host the game. There’s gotta be 1 or 2 potential Sean Connery or Burt Reynolds in that bunch. What fun would this be? Everyone would watch the qualifier. It would be a ratings bonanza. (are you listening Fox?)   Bottom Line: Let’s use a more measured metric to determine who should have a chance to... read more

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