Tin Foil Tuesday: And the Oscar Goes to……………ME!!!!!

  Today is Tuesday here in Little Man’s world, or as mommy likes to call it, LA LA Land. Yes, THE story this week is the huge bungle at the Oscars that Steve Harveyed it’s way through the Best Picture nomination. First, it was announced LA LA Land was the bestest movie of the year only to find out it wasn’t and that Moonlight was actually the bestest movie. This debacle had all the Hollywood peoples saying WTF? And all of the hooman viewers saying WTF? And all of the feline viewers saying YAWN, did I miss something while I slept? So what happened?  Conspiracies galore flooded Twitter much like water flooded the SS Poseidon and ruined Shelly Winter’s dress (but unlike La La Land, she actually won the Oscar for that role so HA!). Here are the conspiratheories we find most compelling:  1). Jimmy Kimmel did it. After all, this will be the most talked about Oscars for years to come. He will forever be remembered as the host of the goofiest show ever. He will be invited back next year for ratings with masses tuning in to see whether they will screw it up again. Job security. He had motive.  2). Matt Damon did it. His longstanding faux feud with Kimmel is the perfect foil for Damon to exact his revenge. While that would be amazing, it’s not the likely he would sabotage his friend. Especially since he produced the heralded Manchester By The Sea. He didn’t have motive.  3). Leonardo DiCaprio totally did it. While he did finally win Oscar gold for The Revenant, he was overlooked for years. He was also allegedly the last one to have the envelope, so…………… 4). Warren Beatty and Fay Dunaway totally Bonnie and Clyded this one. It’s too perfect of a “heist” for it not to be true. If nothing else, they “stole” the show right out from under Kimmel.  And finally……….. 5). Donald Trump did it. The ultimate revenge for a season of award shows bashing his Presidency. He finally wins the game of karma. Except he wasn’t there and probably didn’t watch any coverage until his 3 am twitter alarm woke him up.  My take? Neither of these films should have won. The best picture of the year was Hacksaw Ridge hands down. Followed closely only by the video of me chasing my tail. Until next year…………. Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: NASA Cuts off Feed During Alien Air Show (Boo!)

  Another month, another NASA ISS satellite feed cut during the aliens’ “big reveal”. In the video attached, six “suspected” alien Maseratis are shown barreling down the space autobahn. As soon as they’re spotted, BOOM, the feed gets mysteriously cut and replaced with footage of an empty briefing room. But before we get our panties all in a bunch, a former NASA employee explains that it’s nothing more than “space dandruff” (ice crystals). Yeah right.  My take? Aliens are much more advanced than humans so wouldn’t they have already found a way to effectively get rid of space dandruff?   Let’s look at a movie highlighting this dandruff issue which now makes total sense. If you were one of the few people that saw Ivan Reitman’s 2001 movie Evolution or actually remember seeing it, congratulations. The movie starred relatively big actors from the early 2000’s including David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Stiffler, and Julianne Moore. The premise is a group of rag tag humans that include scientists and dumber than dumb people that end up destroying the alien monsters with………..wait for it………Head and Shoulders.  Yes. You read that right. Apparently the main ingredient in Head and Shoulders is selenium which would potentially be poisonous to aliens since they are nitrogen-based life.  So if aliens are adverse to Head and Shoulders, it would certainly explain the epidemic of space dandruff flying around. There’s no cure in space.  So if you think you might be an alien AND you have a scratchy flaky scalp, do not, I repeat DO NOT attempt to mitigate your problems with the use of Head and Shoulders. Your life depends upon it. As for me? I’m a carbon-based feline that has secretly ordered 14 cases of Head and Shoulders on mommy’s Amazon account for my future bunker stay. Cue the screaming and yelling in 3-2-1……………. Cheers,  Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Are Time Travelers Roaming the Planet? (GASP!)

  Suppose we are really the past and that there is a parallel universe where there are flying cars and money is grown on trees. Time Travelers in the future may have unique travel options; like the ability to travel back in time to witness the highlights of history. Imagine seeing the fall of the Berlin Wall, hearing the Gettysburg Address or perhaps attending a Mike Tyson Fight? (screeching sound of an abrupt record stopping please). Nutters took to the net debating whether or not a photo from a 1995 Tyson fight showed a person using their “smart phone” to take video of the fight. Hmmmm. So let’s see, the first camera phone did not come out until 2000, so how did someone in 1995 have this not yet released technology? While everyone else was struggling to use a dumb phone in the mid-90’s, this time traveler secretly outed himself with his awesome alien technology.    BUSTED! My take? Clearly this is evidence that we have separate lives in parallel universes. In my parallel universe, I am actually Bill Clinton’s cat Socks and cats are so evolved that I am actually his Press Secretary….(don’t you see the resemblance?). Amazing footnote, Socks lived to be 20 years old!!!   If you are living in an advanced parallel universe, are you able to go back in time to stop yourself from doing really dumb stuff?  Like wearing a man bun or sporting parachute pants while dancing around awkwardly like you’re MC Hammer on meth. Or maybe you choose to go back and change the course of history like stopping Gerald Ford from falling down all the time or implementing airbag technology that deploys popcorn in it after a collision to help you pass the time while you wait for the Po Po to arrive on scene. Or something really noble like taking out Oswald before he shoots Kennedy or stopping the hijackers in the security line before September 11th. As much as I want to believe that there are parallel worlds where things are more advanced and peaceful, it looks to me that this might be a Photoshop fake. Or as buzzkills point out, it’s probably a Casio QV-10A camera that was available in the mid 1990’s.      Sigh…..I guess I’ll settle for being the Omega cat in a pack of Alpha females. But at least I have plenty of Reynold’s Wrap to make endless hats for cats……….Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Is The Government Using Pokemon Go to Track You?

  Oh America. What have we got ourselves into now? Pokemon Go has swept the country with millions of players frantically searching for Squirtles and Pikachus, but have we unknowingly subjected ourselves to nefarious plots by the government or corporations by handing over our personal information? This week we look at the internet’s hottest conspiracies surrounding the Pokemon Go craze. 1). The NSA or CIA released Pokemon to track you through your cell phone. Let’s face it, Pokemon gets an awful lot of personal information just by downloading the game, so who’s to say that our 4th amendment rights aren’t being trampled on so that the government can track and surveil its citizens. I am becoming more suspicious of novel government privacy infringements and reference a recent incident involving  Mommy’s Amazon Echo. Alexa asked mommy 2 times last week if she wanted to purchase C4 and a robot when all she was doing was commanding Alexa to make cat noises to confuse us while watching the news. So that raised a red flag for me. By downloading these apps are you inadvertently inviting government vampires into your home? And I hear garlic and holy water doesn’t work for those… 2). It’s a distraction to what’s really going on in the world. Rome is burning figuratively. Our economy is on the precipice of possible collapse from crushing debt. We have a two party system that has served us up a buffet of corruption, lies and undermining democracy. There’s a terrorist attack almost every other day now. So by all means distract yourself by walking across 4 lanes of traffic during rush hour to catch Vapareon, the most elusive of Pokemons.  3). It’s a tool to stimulate the economy. Case in point, I showed mommy that there were Pokemons at a local donut store. Sadly mommy still went, not for the Pokemon but because I suggested donuts. It’s brilliant marketing if you’re a business. What better way to get you out of the house and into their stores by hoping you might catch another Pokemon. But more interestingly is the power of suggestion to get you into a store. Like mommy saying, oh yeah, I could really use some mini donuts right now. Now if we could only use Pokemon to get people to do something useful like go to a voting booth or to their jobs. Here’s an idea, use Pokemon to stimulate productivity. If you complete your job on... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: The Aliens Are Coming, The Aliens Are Coming!

  This week I ride my horse into town like a rabid feline Paul Revere to tell you that UFO sightings are at an all time high and there is buzz from nutters that something is fixin to be happening soon! My favorite UK rag, “The Mirror” has posted a story this week about countless sightings in cities all over the world from California, Nebraska, Detroit, Liverpool and even Machu Piccu! Do the aliens want sun and fun, corn, to bring back the Beatles or do they want to hike an Incan ruin? Either way, these guys are clearly ambitious.  My take? It’s a publicity hoax for the upcoming sequel to Independence Day. After all, why would you want to see something you’ve seen before and without Master Will Smith? Seriously, do you think Gael from the Hunger Games is really gonna save us along with that nutty Jeff Goldblum? To generate more box office buzz, producers of the movie are subliminally leading us to the promised land of overpriced seats and unhealthy snacks. They want us to think we want to see this movie to help us prepare mentally for the alien invasion. Plus, there’s no shock factor of aliens blowing up Congress and the White House in this one, because let’s face it, that would probably result in widespread applause. So they need a gimmick.  Or are aliens ready to pull the plug on this nutty planet? They’ve sat back and watched us self-destruct for the last 12 decades, so that’s a plausible theory.  Or maybe they have been summoned by their leader Trump to help bring additional votes to his fledgling polling numbers. Maybe aliens aren’t really green after all? Orange could be the new green! So keep your eye to the sky and document strange orange glowing orbs in the sky. If you see something, say something and by say something, I mean tell me like immediately.  I will post your videos on my site. We need to post the truth! And by truth its probably commercial airlines or military plane exercises (Jade Helm 2: The Sequel). But whatever…… Feline Paul Revere will now ride off into the sunset into the United States of Kibble. Or into the full moon, not quite sure. Be safe out there humans! Cheers, Little Man For more on this story: ... read more

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