Protecting Your Sausage from Bacon

My goodness….look at the time people, it’s almost Christmas. And I haven’t started my shopping as of yet nor decided what I will bestow on mommy this year. Last year I gave her a gecko. It wasn’t really alive, but it was really cute in its Weekend at Bernie’s state. I even gave it a British voice and watched as mommy went from confused to horrified by my actions. Perhaps I will think grander this year. I’m on my A game now. Let’s see what’s going on in the world this week people…… Wee on the Senate Intelligence Committee release of that blasted CIA Torture Report: I’m torn on this one. While I advocate for transparency in government, there are times I really just don’t want to know what we do out there. It’s like being a mob wife. You love the riches, the parties, the glamour, the gaudy jewelry and makeup, endless botox, but you don’t really want to revel in how it comes from Joey Bagadonuts’ cement shoe business. Is torture as a means to an end justifiable? I’m not so sure that torture, even when it’s labeled as “Justifiable” is any more or less better or moral than what our enemies do to us. If it helped protect our national security and yielded valuable information to allow us to shut down terror cells, then maybe you can argue it was a viable strategy. But it does not sound like that the end result was what we thought it would be. And now it doesn’t matter because we have a whole new network of batshit crazy jihadists even more rabid than the last lot. Torture does not appear to be a deterrent to the behavior. If anything, only incites more hatred against the US. Shampoo, rinse, repeat. US intervenes where it doesn’t belong, appears shocked when struck back by those who spent decades in stewing resentment over our intervention. We respond through torturing and retaliation. Opposition in turn morphs into shiny new Transformer. Do I sound like a non-interventionist? Because it sure seems like we’d be a hell of a lot better economically and morally without getting into incessant conflicts and wars. First it was stopping the spread of communism, and then stopping the spread of terrorism. Next we will be stopping the talking apes from revolting and taking over the planet. The first ape that talks is a goner. The first cat that talks will be elected to Congress. I don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about anymore. Mommy said stay on task. In terms... read more

Turkey Leftovers SUCK

I’m a little behind in my writing, but I am still recovering from all of the Thanksgiving hullabaloo. My break was good and I got to spend quality time with mommy and my siblings. I even broke with my normal aloof behavior to sit on mommy’s lap on 3 consecutive days. By the third day, mommy asked whether or not she should see a doctor as I might be one of those cats at the nursing home that can detect when someone is going to kick the bucket and thus decides to point out to the nurses which one of their dead pool picks is coming to fruition. I advised her I have no medical detection abilities and that my “cat scan” did not show anything serious other than a need for her to have a lobotomy. I was just being thankful. And with that, here are the things I am thankful for this year: 1). Kibble and canned food. 2). Dry residence with multiple cat scratch stations that I ignore in favor of the pleather ottoman. 3). Siblings that love me and understand their rank below me in the hierarchy. 4). A laptop that I can use to express my views and freak out Little Man with noises from cat videos on You Tube. 5). A mommy that lets me express my sometimes absurd views with a mere eyeroll and a “whatever Wee”. 6). Stupid people. Without them this blog would not exist. 7). Stupid politicians. See item 6. The seeds of my discontent and funny bone. 8). The new cat nip plant. I’ve gone organic finally. Biggest turkeys of the year? How do you choose just one? How about a turkey farm instead? Here’s who’s on the reservation and should’ve been carved and served at Thanksgiving. Vladimir Putin, Ray Rice, Roger Goodell, Adrian Peterson, the adult chap stuck in a child’s high chair in hotel lobby, the man who turned his amputated leg into a lamp, Bill Cosby, Justin Bieber, Ebola, Donald Sterling, Oscar Pistorius, Man who beat girlfriend with a McChicken sandwich, The Secret Service, General Motors, the people that made those bad airbags with shrapnel, Congress, McDonalds, Kanye West, The Polar Vortex, ISIL, All political ads for Charlie Crist and Rick Scott and I Frankenstein. Did anyone actually sit through that garbage? Until next week when we resume our regularly scheduled nonsense of dissection of the world……………Peace,... read more

News of the Wee: More of the Same Nonsense

Is it me or has the news cycle been repeating itself over and over. Either that, or Wee is perpetually stuck in Groundhog Day. Each day I wake up and try to solve the mystery behind 370. I’ve been in more places than Carmen San Diego. Still no luck. The earth has a lot of floaters based upon the satellite images that keep coming out with possible “debris”. The last such mystery to have captivated everyone from cats to Courtney Love was the death of Kurt Cobain. Which while we are at it, had his own death re-opened for investigation this week. And with that, lets see what else is floating out there this week…… Wee on the death of Fred Phelps of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church: Outside the gates of hell, there are people picketing with signs that say, “The Devil Hates Fred”. They really just want you to find someplace else to reside. You’re not even good enough for the Red Man.May your legacy die with you. #Wee = Love. Wee on Russia’s sanctions against 9 US officials and lawmakers including John McCain, Harry Reid and John Boehner: Putin has once again outmaneuvered Obama. Genius really. If you want to get your point across, sanction Congress and the Senate. Wee on a 16 year old kid breaching and evading security at the new 1 World Trade Center building: If a kid from New Jersey can outsmart you dipshits, I imagine that every low IQ idiot jihadist is presently in their basement preparing bombs made out of Pepsi and Pop Rocks waiting for opening day. Not real comforting guys. Wee on the fake vote to annex Crimea: What did you expect? The Ukrainian people to win? For Putin to be de-masked like “Old Man Jenkins” from Scooby Doo? I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids? ….I could go on. The next question has to be; when are they annexing Poland? Wee on scientists that found evidence of a dinosaur dubbed, “chicken from hell”: Somewhere pre-historic Colonel Sanders is licking his fingers over this new Paleo diet item. The problem is the chicken from hell is thinking the same thing about you. Wee on first round upsets in the NCAA tournament: Great, now something else to distract mommy from paying her full and undivided attention to Wee. Warren Buffet is dancing around like the Geico Gecko as odds of a perfect bracket... read more