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Protecting Your Sausage from Bacon

My goodness….look at the time people, it’s almost Christmas. And I haven’t started my shopping as of yet nor decided what I will bestow on mommy this year. Last year I gave her a gecko. It wasn’t really alive, but it was really cute in its Weekend at Bernie’s state. I even gave it a British voice and watched as mommy went from confused to horrified by my actions. Perhaps I will think grander this year. I’m on my A game now. Let’s see what’s going on in the world this week people…… Wee on the Senate Intelligence Committee release of that blasted CIA Torture Report: I’m torn on this one. While I advocate for transparency in government, there are times I really just don’t want to know what we do out there. It’s like being a mob wife. You love the riches, the parties, the glamour, the gaudy jewelry and makeup, endless botox, but you don’t really want to revel in how it comes from Joey Bagadonuts’ cement shoe business. Is torture as a means to an end justifiable? I’m not so sure that torture, even when it’s labeled as “Justifiable” is any more or less better or moral than what our enemies do to us. If it helped protect our national security and yielded valuable information to allow us to shut down terror cells, then maybe you can argue it was a viable strategy. But it does not sound like that the end result was what we thought it would be. And now it doesn’t matter because we have a whole new network of batshit crazy jihadists even more rabid than the last lot. Torture does not appear to be a deterrent to the behavior. If anything, only incites more hatred against the US. Shampoo, rinse, repeat. US intervenes where it doesn’t belong, appears shocked when struck back by those who spent decades in stewing resentment over our intervention. We respond through torturing and retaliation. Opposition in turn morphs into shiny new Transformer. Do I sound like a non-interventionist? Because it sure seems like we’d be a hell of a lot better economically and morally without getting into incessant conflicts and wars. First it was stopping the spread of communism, and then stopping the spread of terrorism. Next we will be stopping the talking apes from revolting and taking over the planet. The first ape that talks is a goner. The first cat that talks will be elected to Congress. I don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about anymore. Mommy said stay on task. In terms... read more

Send Them Home With Shouts and Praise = WTF?

Mommy subjects me to watching The Following every week. While I enjoyed the relative screwiness of Season One; Season Two is shaping up to confuse even Christopher Nolan. It’s become the Inception of TV shows. It’s now a cult inside a cult inside a cult. Each cult even screwier than the last. If you haven’t seen this week’s episode, I must warn you not to read further as it contains more spoilers than a hoopty. I enjoyed the first few episodes with the creepy Joe Carroll masks. The killer twins. Then the introduction of the killer mom and her strange band of French psychopaths. But after they brought in Joe, even he detected how the family was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. And a strange thing began to happen. I started to root for Joe Carroll to break free from these pack of ninny wusses. He was then “captured” and put into a depraved cult with a Jim Jones type ‘religious’ leader begging Joe for tips on how to control and kill the members not quite sold on his almightiness. The best part, this guy is so clueless, Joe will be able take over this band of horses within 2 episodes (maybe less). I can’t wait to see psychos manipulate psychos, which will allow Joe to get back to what he does best….Top Dog, bat shit crazy. Mass hysteria. I am over Kevin Bacon’s Ryan Hardy. He needs to grow a sac. He never seems to have good timing or the instincts to actually catch and kill anyone. Now he is continually being bailed out by the young Mike who has become somewhat of a one man vigilante of justice. If you’re going to compare anyone to Jack Bauer, Mike would be the best candidate under his tutelage. Dump Hardy and move to 24′s new incarnation, Mike. Its a better fit for your rage to take out a swath of terrorists. And we would watch with Glee. No, not that shitty jump the shark show. I digress. Predictions: Joe Carroll realizes that he controls the world and six degrees of Bacon will now become six degrees of Carroll. Because of gerrymandering, he runs as a Tea Party Candidate and gets elected to Congress in a rural Kansas district. Season 3 then takes him to Washington where he puts most of Congress out of their misery. He will have finally used his powers for good instead of evil. Mommy... read more

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