Tin Foil Tuesday: Bill and Ted Were Probably Real Time Travelers (EXCELLENT!)


I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands this past week thanks to an illness of unknown origin which made me feverish and hallucinating that aliens were in the living room eating mommy’s Cheetos. I’m on the up and up, but I am still convinced the aliens were real. And the Cheetos have technically been missing since 4/20, so apparently the aliens were here for a “pre-Earth Day” party 2 days early. Makes perfect sense. But thanks to everyone that sent me well wishes. I’m still here. Yay!

In a follow-up to our recent post on the time traveler spotted in 1995 at a Mike Tyson fight sporting a not yet developed cell phone camera, I scoured the internet and found many more photos that give credence to the theory that we are actually probably living in the past. See the following exhibits: 

1). Alright, Alright, Alright……

Image result for time traveler photos

Does this guy on the left look dazed and confused to you? Umm, yeah. It’s because he was visited by his former nekkid bongo playin’ now turned serious actor doppelganger from the future. I suspect the old Matthew gave inspiration to new Matthew on how to pull off the many shitty mustache styles that have been sported in his movie roles. 

2). Hipsters invade the past to stop Anheuser-Busch from making lousy beer following Prohibition.

This Time-Traveling Hipster Ki... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list

So maybe he is a Marvel Avenger that is going to stop the Great Depression, Hitler AND watered down beer. Yay Captain Hipster. Whatever his reason, this is just creepy. 

3. Steam Punk is alive and well in the early 1900’s. 

This Time-Traveling Punk Rocks... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list

Did the Sex Pistols have a time traveler that went to the industrial revolution for inspiration? Like the old CBGB wasn’t dirty enough, he had to travel to when there was actual dirt everywhere. Sporting a mohawk in an early 1900’s photo really is punk. 

4. Gold Rush Dude

This Surfer Dude Chillin' ... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list

Nothing sticks out like a sore thumb like a surfer dude meeting up with his new 1850’s friends to pan for gold. Like no way dude, I can go back in time, get me some gold, come back, and never work again? Surf’s up….

5.  Can you be a little more discreet? Jeeesh!!!!

This Oddly Out of Place Hula H... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list

Nothing says “time-traveler” like a fun-loving girl from the 50’s clearly lacking self-awareness transported back to the Great Depression where train-riding hobos were as common as a cold. Sorry sweetie, that’s just being entitled and obnoxious. See #2 – Hipster……you should hook up. 

So if you see someone at Starbucks wearing futuristic clothes, rest assure the insane fashion from the 1980’s is probably making a comeback. Or maybe it’s a visitor from the future coming back to “vacation” instead of using their super transport powers to make the world a better place. Sigh……..Little Man

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