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Turkey Leftovers SUCK

I’m a little behind in my writing, but I am still recovering from all of the Thanksgiving hullabaloo. My break was good and I got to spend quality time with mommy and my siblings. I even broke with my normal aloof behavior to sit on mommy’s lap on 3 consecutive days. By the third day, mommy asked whether or not she should see a doctor as I might be one of those cats at the nursing home that can detect when someone is going to kick the bucket and thus decides to point out to the nurses which one of their dead pool picks is coming to fruition. I advised her I have no medical detection abilities and that my “cat scan” did not show anything serious other than a need for her to have a lobotomy. I was just being thankful. And with that, here are the things I am thankful for this year:

1). Kibble and canned food.

2). Dry residence with multiple cat scratch stations that I ignore in favor of the pleather ottoman.

3). Siblings that love me and understand their rank below me in the hierarchy.

4). A laptop that I can use to express my views and freak out Little Man with noises from cat videos on You Tube.

5). A mommy that lets me express my sometimes absurd views with a mere eyeroll and a “whatever Wee”.

6). Stupid people. Without them this blog would not exist.

7). Stupid politicians. See item 6. The seeds of my discontent and funny bone.

8). The new cat nip plant. I’ve gone organic finally.

Biggest turkeys of the year? How do you choose just one? How about a turkey farm instead? Here’s who’s on the reservation and should’ve been carved and served at Thanksgiving.

Vladimir Putin, Ray Rice, Roger Goodell, Adrian Peterson, the adult chap stuck in a child’s high chair in hotel lobby, the man who turned his amputated leg into a lamp, Bill Cosby, Justin Bieber, Ebola, Donald Sterling, Oscar Pistorius, Man who beat girlfriend with a McChicken sandwich, The Secret Service, General Motors, the people that made those bad airbags with shrapnel, Congress, McDonalds, Kanye West, The Polar Vortex, ISIL, All political ads for Charlie Crist and Rick Scott and I Frankenstein. Did anyone actually sit through that garbage?

Until next week when we resume our regularly scheduled nonsense of dissection of the world……………Peace, Wee….

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