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Tin Foil Tuesday: The Universe is One Giant Hologram (Gasp!)

  Hold on to your britches people, breaking news this week from astrophysicists say that the universe may actually be one giant hologram and that our reality is just an illusion. Ummm. Ok…….Apparently scientists have been studying the after glow from the Big Bang (Bazinga!) and determined that we are just one giant hologram that is projected from a flat two-dimensional field (Flat Earthers Rejoice!). Their theory attempts to reconcile the befuddling Einstein’s theory of gravity against quantum mechanics. What the hell does that mean? I don’t know, I’m just a kitty!!!! So then, are we just a giant video game run by aliens? Are we in the Matrix?  Does my blog actually exist or is it a projection of my clearly two-dimensional thought process on Flat Earth? How then do you explain our use of holograms on this planet?  Like when we brought back Tupac and Biggie and Michael Jackson posthumously. Are they just a hologram inside a hologram? Are we being punked by Christopher Nolan and his theory of Inception? So many questions, so little answers.  My take? Since the only scientific theory I understand is Einstein’s Bagels combined with the theory of Jellytivity, I’m clearly unqualified to render a coherent hypothesis.  I only understand quantum physics in the context of the 80’s show Quantum Leap where Scott Bakula had a bad time travel accident, but was able to fix the past to make it better for the future. But the kicker of that show? He was aided by his friend Admiral Al Calavicci who lived in the present and appeared to him by…..wait for it…….a hologram. SNAP! Reality was dropped on us in 1989 while we were too busy listening to Milli Vanilli (who ironically turned out to be an illusion as well HA!) Mind Blown. Re-watching this very important show now to look for more clues. Mommy said my nonsense is giving her a headache. I told her that her headache is not real anyway.  Cheers – Little Man.   ... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Is Elvis Really Alive? (Gasp!)

  On the heels of Tupac’s “alleged” spotting in Cuba, comes Elvis allegedly spotted at…..wait for it………Graceland. Yup. Nutters are in full frenzy over a photo of an large old bearded man taken at what would’ve been Elvis’s  82nd birthday at Graceland. The man looks a lot like what die hard Elvis fans feel he would’ve looked like as an old man.  So is this proof that Elvis pulled a Lazarus and decided he wanted to attend his own birthday party? Suspicious minds want to know!! Elvis is in a long line of music stars that have apparently “faked” their own death to escape the pressures of fame. Maybe he had a Blue Christmas or was lonesome tonight while living in the ghetto. Maybe he got evicted from Heartbreak Hotel and wanted a little less conversation and a little more action. Or perhaps he wanted a hunka hunka burning peanut butter and nana sandwich. Or maybe, he’s really just the devil in disguise (gasp!). He woke up and said hey Elvis, it’s now or never. I better go celebrate my birthday where it all began. So he stamped himself “return to sender” and headed back to Graceland. Incidentally Mommy has just suspended my iTunes account.  And as much as I want to believe that Elvis is still alive and well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to step on your blue suede shoes. Before you get all shook up, you should probably accept that Elvis has really left the building.  An no nutters, it’s also not Elvis’s stillborn twin Jesse who actually survived. GAH…….   This does not look like Elvis people. It looks like Santa is a massive Elvis fan and may have just outed himself. I smell a story……………..Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Are Time Travelers Roaming the Planet? (GASP!)

  Suppose we are really the past and that there is a parallel universe where there are flying cars and money is grown on trees. Time Travelers in the future may have unique travel options; like the ability to travel back in time to witness the highlights of history. Imagine seeing the fall of the Berlin Wall, hearing the Gettysburg Address or perhaps attending a Mike Tyson Fight? (screeching sound of an abrupt record stopping please). Nutters took to the net debating whether or not a photo from a 1995 Tyson fight showed a person using their “smart phone” to take video of the fight. Hmmmm. So let’s see, the first camera phone did not come out until 2000, so how did someone in 1995 have this not yet released technology? While everyone else was struggling to use a dumb phone in the mid-90’s, this time traveler secretly outed himself with his awesome alien technology.    BUSTED! My take? Clearly this is evidence that we have separate lives in parallel universes. In my parallel universe, I am actually Bill Clinton’s cat Socks and cats are so evolved that I am actually his Press Secretary….(don’t you see the resemblance?). Amazing footnote, Socks lived to be 20 years old!!!   If you are living in an advanced parallel universe, are you able to go back in time to stop yourself from doing really dumb stuff?  Like wearing a man bun or sporting parachute pants while dancing around awkwardly like you’re MC Hammer on meth. Or maybe you choose to go back and change the course of history like stopping Gerald Ford from falling down all the time or implementing airbag technology that deploys popcorn in it after a collision to help you pass the time while you wait for the Po Po to arrive on scene. Or something really noble like taking out Oswald before he shoots Kennedy or stopping the hijackers in the security line before September 11th. As much as I want to believe that there are parallel worlds where things are more advanced and peaceful, it looks to me that this might be a Photoshop fake. Or as buzzkills point out, it’s probably a Casio QV-10A camera that was available in the mid 1990’s.      Sigh…..I guess I’ll settle for being the Omega cat in a pack of Alpha females. But at least I have plenty of Reynold’s Wrap to make endless hats for cats……….Cheers – Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: $25,000 Pyramid (In Antarctica) (GASP!)

  “Scientists” have allegedly discovered as many as three separate “structures” on Antarctica that appear to be eerily similar to the Egyptian pyramids. What the What? Was Antarctica once inhabited by people before it became a giant ice block? Or is it proof that the pyramids, both in Egypt and Antarctica, were built by ET? Let’s look into this bizarre discovery, shall we?  Theory #1: Was Antarctica a paradise city before it became the planet’s biggest snow cone? Scientists seem to think so. As late as 2012, several types of bacteria were found on the continent suggesting that life might have been very different there before the march of the penguins invaded. So the theory that there’s a lost city in Antarctica which was once a lush paleo hot spot for vacationing caveman 100 million years ago may have a kernel of truth.  Could these pyramids be an ancient man-made construction? Sure. Why not. Is this the origins of the 8th Wonder of the World? Not so fast.  Theory #2: The pyramids could only have been constructed by intelligent life. Like way smarter than humans.  How on earth were the pyramids erected with such primitive knowledge of construction and without a massive labor pool needed to complete this project with exact precision? Yup, it’s because they were built by aliens that are light years ahead of humans. And they are using the second set of pyramids in Antarctica as their covert army base/portal to space unbeknownst to humans. Or do some of us on this planet already know? In November of 2016, John Kerry paid a visit to Antarctica under the guise of a “climate change” stop. Mind you, he is the highest ranking US official ever to step foot on the continent. But was he really there instead to have a secret meeting with the aliens to sign a peace accord? Maybe. There were several photo ops that were taken of his trip, but a whole slew of areas where photos were banned. Yup…. Here’s another nugget; Wikileaks released a set of photographs in October of 2016 (which got lost in the Podesta email/DNC dump and shuffle) that potentially shows evidence of strange activity over Antarctica. There were a series of sequentially numbered photographs, but……… with several numbered photos missing.  Why not release them all Assange? Podesta had also allegedly promised to re-open the UFO files if Clinton were elected.  Now we may never know the truth (or the... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: 2017 – New Year, Same Old S***!

  Well I hope everyone had a nice holiday and that you’re starting the new year off right. You know, by trying to stop eating like it’s the last meal you had before going to the electric chair. Or going to those pesky gyms where it looks like a packed dance club in January then looks like an Old West abandoned town with tumbleweed blowing by in February. Whatever your resolution, I hope it lasts longer than mine did. I promised I would not break anything of mommies for at least a month. But I knocked over a lamp while chasing Daisy through the bedroom at 2am this morning. Mommy was mad to say the least. She told me it was time to get back to work and that I’m not John Oliver who can take 2 months off. So we’re back at it for 2017. I will be driving up and down the internet highway looking for stopovers in the world’s craziest conspiracies. Some of my upcoming headlines include:  Alien Pyramids in the Antarctic Trump’s Head Spotted on Mars Time Traveler spotted at Tyson 1995 fight The Kraken is Real and Spotted By Google Earth The Illuminati is planning to launch a “Space Nation” to Control Your Mind The Man in the High Castle is Real and Your World Is Not!  And so much more………..So to those who say, New Year, New Me; I say stick to what works. Breaking lamps and uncovering the truth. Or the half truth. Or total fabrications that make you giggle while worrying about the sanity of a tuxedo cat. In other words, New Year, New Wee……….. Cheers,  Little Man    ... read more

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