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Tin Foil Tuesday: Lions and Tigers and Dragons? OH MY!!!!

  Someone get Pete stat…..we found his dragon. Flying over the mountains somewhere in an undisclosed location over China, someone captured an unidentified object that was clearly not ET. So what gives? Is it CGI magic? Or is it something potentially more sinister?  Given that China is slowly squeezing the balls of America economically and now strategically over in the South China Seas, perhaps they have bred, raised and trained a new military weapon that hasn’t been seen since….well since the last Lord of the Rings Hobbit movie thingy. Think about it? What better way to save their military, aircraft and ships from destruction than by breeding the ultimate fire breathing weapon? Imagine the power unleashed by dragons setting fire to enemy cities across the globe? Eh? I’m not really buying it, but then again, I heard Wee on the phone again with China placing an order for something she said she would ride into Washington next month to try and save America. So much for the white horse. That’s so last century.  I report, you decide. I just hope for once this one is true. Because dragons kick ass. And I want to come back in my next life as Daenerys Targaryen’s dragon so I can win Game of Thrones. ... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Did Pam Anderson Try To Kill Julian Assange (Gasp)!

  The twitter fools are at it again! After reports from Wikileaks Monday that their link was “severed” by a state party, several tweets from Julian Assange apparently resembling a dead man’s switch went out sending Twitter into a total meltdown that he must have been killed.  Yeah I fell for that Edward Snowden dead man’s switch hoax a few weeks back, so I’m skeptical. Who on earth would want to take down Assange anyway? Oh yeah right.  Since he’s in the process of leaking just about every document known to man about the DNC and the Clinton campaign, his list of enemies is growing faster than my sagging gut from too much kibble.  The craziest theory to emerge this week is that former Baywatch star and current PETA activist Pamela Anderson took out Assange with a vegan sandwich. Yes you read that correctly. Anderson allegedly met with Assange over the weekend at the Ecuador Embassy and brought him a delicious vegan sandwich from Pret A Manger. I checked their menu and they do have non vegan options, but I hear they make a “killer” vegan sandwich. Why would our Pammy want to take out Assange? Is Pam secretly working for the Clinton campaign? And since they couldn’t use a drone on him, the easiest way to take him out was by Vegemite? Seriously, have you ever tasted Vegemite? I would venture to say that its lethal for cats, but probably not for justice hackers.  Rest assured tin foil nutters, Julian is alive and well and did not perish by way of an evil sandwich brought to him by a former Playboy model. She was simply there to talk about her foundation that helps environmental and animal causes and he was there to give her advice. They met in 2014. So it appears that yet again, transparency will live to see another day. And Pret A Manger has received free publicity and now has a line out the door. Nice try nutters………Cheers, Little Man P.S. – If I see anyone come to the door with a Pret A Manger sandwich, I will release all the secret emails I have on my sister Wee and her Presidential campaign through a dead cat switch on Twitter. The revelations will be stunning to say the least. Excessive nip use, attacking her opponents while they sleep, constant napping during her foreign policy briefings. That’s just the tip of the iceberg…………Kittileaks will be amazeballs. ... read more

Kibble Party Caucus: How to Really Fix America

  We haven’t written an op-ed in awhile primarily because of our distaste of the current political climate in this country. So Mommy brought us in for an emergency caucus to first play a game to help bring levity to our growing anxieties of a probable fascist President in the White House come January. Then Wee announces our collective party plan to fix this country. Sadly human, cats are your last great hope for change.  Mommy: Name a movie that describes this Presidential Election?  Wee: The Titanic Bean: Armageddon Little Man: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (actual movie)   Mommy: Name a song that best describes the election?  Wee: Crazy Train Bean: Wrecking Ball Little Man: Satan Gave Me A Taco (actual song)   So what does an undecided or disgusted voter to do? I have an idea.  Instead of “let’s vote for this person so the other person doesn’t win”, let’s play the I’ll vote everyone out of office game. Here’s the rules; you vote for someone on the ballot that has an LPF, CPF, GRE, REF, NPA behind their name for President, US Senate and US House. Yes, that’s right, even if Trump or Hillary wins, it still leaves this atrocity called Congress that isn’t going to change unless and until these leeches are voted out of office! There will be no change at all. Polarization and partisan gridlock will continue if we don’t hit the nuclear button. And the polarization is ruining this country. For once, everyday Americans could be joined in a cause instead of being divided by drivel.  SO……you want REAL change America? It starts at the top and filters down. Imagine a new Congress sworn in with representatives from both major AND minor parties. Shuffle the deck, just say F*** it and blow up the plutocracy we live in where politicians are above the law and who work in their own best interest instead of ours. Force them to compromise, pass bills, balance a budget, make real plans for changing the tax code and for bringing down the atrocious debt. Since we can’t get term limits passed, our only option is to send all of them packing. And for the next few election cycles to slowly and completely rid this country of its malignant cancer.  If all else fails and you cannot decide which candidate to choose, there’s this thing called a Write In. And I’m still... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: NASA Is Trying to Hide ET Again (Gasp!)

  There had been rumors that NASA would be shutting down the live camera feeds from the International Space Station due to alleged “budget” cuts, but it still hasn’t happened. Suckers…UFO nutters across the globe are screaming that NASA wants to shut down the cameras solely because there’s been too much traffic on the galaxy highway as of late. Oh and because humans really can’t handle the truth. The only ones that would profit from humans finding out about aliens would be Fruit of the Loom and Pampers because we would all collectively crap our pants (or diapers) if we knew what was really out there.  There have been several instances over the past two years where NASA’s feed suddenly fades to blue about the time when it’s picking up an ET’s Space Ferrari, Predator’s Porsche or Alf’s Alfa Romeo. The most recent video from September 30 shows a blue orb coming into the picture just before the camera goes out……….Again……….Conveniently…. To indulge myself, I went over to ufologist Streetcap1 on You Tube for the full video. I will let you decide. But from the looks of his other videos on there, the truth is clearly out there. HOLY GUACAMOLE! So rally your inner Scully and go kick Mulder in his skeptical badonkadonk……… As for ET? I request a prompt pick up from this planet before a new President is elected.  There’s only 37 days left before Armageddon. Pick me! Pick me!  Cheers – Little Man       ... read more

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