Tin Foil Tuesday: Tupac is Alive (Gasp!)

  Ever since mommy let me watch “Straight Outta Compton”, I’ve been begging her to rename me Little Biggie Smallz since I’m Little Man weighing in at a whopping 16lbs now. It’s perfect. I’m obsessed now with the West Coast/East Coast rap wars of the 1990’s and have been intrigued by the Tupac faked his death conspiracy. Well did he or didn’t he? Let’s find out.  Its been almost 20 years since rapper Tupac Shakur was “allegedly” gunned down in Las Vegas while attending a fight. I found it strange that no one was ever arrested for his murder given his high profile as a celebrity. Theories ranged from P Diddy hiring a hit man to kill him to a gang-style hit by either the Bloods or Crips. Given his penchant for alternating red and blue bandanas and having no real gang affiliation, I am not buying that he was gunned down by one of the rival gangs. Even Suge Knight in a 2012 interview said he never saw his body after seeing him shot on the night in question. So what’s up?  Well low and behold, a “selfie” that surfaced in 2015 is now making the rounds in a YouTube segment seems to suggest that maybe Tupac really did fake his own death and is now living incognito in Cuba. Or incognito until this photo surfaced. I’ll let you decide. But Dayam….if it is Tupac, I want his beauty secrets. He didn’t age at all.      My take? Tupac is alive and well. And so is Jim Morrison, Hendrix, Cobain, Elvis and Michael Jackson. They’ve formed a Super Group, are recording new material and eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches while they live undetected in the lost continent of Atlantis. Oh lord people……….I would stream that s***! Well if this isn’t proof that Tupac is indeed alive and well, then I’m forming my own Cat Rap group, CWA, Cats With Attitude. You see we would have me, Little Biggie Smallz, Easy Wee, Dr. Bean and MJ Crazy Daisy. We will dazzle you with such hits as “Straight Outta Kibble” while we stroll down the street sipping on Nip and Juice, laid back………..Peace, word to the mutha – MC No Litta Moe Problems………..Cheers!      ... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: New Date for the Apocalypse (Gasp!)

  I said to myself last week, “self, why hasn’t there been any doomsday predictions for 2016”? Well low and behold apparently I was asleep at the wheel as there was a prediction for late July for end times. Which obviously came and went. But never fear, this was only “postponed” now until October 31, 2016. Yes, Halloween. Yes, one week before our next Presidential election. So what do the repeatedly wrong predictors say will happen this time?  Let’s see, this particular group predicted an asteroid in May (nope), then the world would come to an abrupt halt in July when the earth would stop spinning (still nope but my head is spinning) and that Obama would rise up as the anti-Christ in June (nope, he was golfing again).  So what is coming in October? I viewed the attached video from this link and will spare you 17 minutes of your life you will never get back. The earth is going to shake and stumble like a drunk man (actual comment). Then the polar flip and the giant galactic wedgie will occur (not an actual comment). Mountains will melt like wax from a global earthquake and the stars will fall from heaven killing millions. Then a giant hailstorm (100lbs each) will dent anything that this spring’s Texas hail outbreaks didn’t hit. Then Jesus is coming down. Trumpets and angels will save the chosen people. Yup basically armageddon. But not the cool Bruce Willis asteroid killing savior kind.  My take? If there was ever a time to pray for the end of days, its one week before this year’s Presidential Election. Perhaps God is going to save us from either a Trump or Hillary Presidency. But we won’t get that lucky. These people have been right about their predictions….oh let’s say, never…… So plan on dressing up in your best Marvel Avengers’ costume, because if the world does happen to end on that day coincidentally you might be fooled into thinking that Thor and the Hulk are actually fighting a supervillain instead and you can go about your tricker treatin’ way.  Cheers,  Little... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Why Is The Olympic Pool Green? Hmmmm

  Donald Trump was proven wrong last week with this we “never win” anymore nonsense. Have you been watching the Rio Olympic Games you Giant Circus Peanut? He said we would win so much with him as President that we would get sick of winning. Nope, not in the least bit sick of the US dominance at the games. In fact, I wish the Olympics would go all the way until the election with Michael Phelps crushing his opponents everyday. Winning is awesome and I think public sentiment would be a lot more positive than this depressing election cycle. But has anyone noticed the perpetual algae green color of the other pool at the Olympic Aquatic Stadium? The people on Twitter apparently have and came up with some really entertaining and interesting conspiracy theories:  1). Shrek got caught taking a bath (he’s stinky kinda)   2). If you pee in the pool, apparently it doesn’t turn red! (Gotcha sneaky pool peeers.) 3). They’re practicing for St. Patrick’s Day, a little early. (checking the calendar since it’s technically winter in South America. Wait so shouldn’t this be the Winter Games?) 4). The Olympic pool is green with envy from US Gold! (Ha!) 5). Fake tanning spray gone bad. (Being pasty sometimes is not so bad after all) 6). To prove Michael Phelps is really Superman (nice try Lex Luthor! Fail!) 7). It’s beer brewed by the Incredible Hulk (finally proof that beer does give you superpowers!) 8). Fukushima has finally spawned Godzilla (Hey Tokyo has the 2020 games) 9). Brazil wanted to show off their awesome country colors (Thank god its green and not brown!) 10). The pool is really just the world’s largest lime jello shot (cheers!) My take? Brazil is a hot mess right now and it doesn’t surprise me that they don’t have it quite together. From housing debacles, armed robberies of Olympic athletes and the IOC’s incessant need to have economic struggling countries pour billions of dollars they don’t need into infrastructure that will be a wasteland in 2 years, this is just a a simple case of a country that is stretched to its limits with resources.  Regardless of what the reason is (bad chemicals), any pool that turns a swimmer’s hair green (Ryan Lochte) and smells is probably not healthy for the athletes or spectators that have to breathe in the fumes. Or is this how the zombie apocalypse starts? Hey, I guess anything’s... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Did Someone Knock Off Edward Snowden? (Gasp!)

  Last Wednesday, Edward Snowden tweeted the following; “Did you work with me? Have we talked since 2013? Please recontact me securely. It’s time”. Whoa……Who is he seeking and what information does he have? Second gunman on grassy knoll? Aliens are ready to invade? The Bachelorette is fake?  Then just two days later, Snowden tweeted a random 64 digit code which “theorists” speculated was a “dead man’s switch”; a switch that automatically operates if its human operator becomes incapacitated or ummm, dead. Then the tweet came down. Then, radio silence. No further tweeting which drove conspiracy theorists to blow up Twitter, Reddit and blogs with the possibility that Edward Snowden may have met his demise. But not before releasing more information to “someone”.  Fear not tin foil heads, according to his “Russian” lawyer, Anatoly Kucherna, Snowden is alive and well and ready to disseminate more information that will make our heads spin like Regan from the Exorcist.  Close associate of Snowden, Glenn Greenwald, tweeted “he’s fine”. Like fine when you ask your girlfriend if something’s wrong? Like fine wine?? He’s so fine? That tells us nothing people!!  But then, an alleged “mistress” of Snowden announced his death yesterday saying that a Russian news source reported that a drunken man stabbed Snowden after he tried to save the man’s wife from drowning. Which makes zero sense. Why would you send a dead man’s switch when you didn’t know you would accidentally die by way of a freak encounter with a drunk man. BING BONG WRONG.  My take? There are a lot of people out that that want Snowden gone. Let’s see; CIA agents, off book spooks, Special Forces officers, the NSA, Hillary Clinton, The Illuminati and maybe possibly, his ally, Julian Assange of Wikipedia. You see Snowden and Assange had a falling out over the DNC leak and differ dramatically on how information should be disseminated to the public. Perhaps Assange is team Trump and Snowden is team Hillary or perhaps I don’t know what the hell to think anymore. But perhaps Snowden was standing in Assange’s way of total destruction of the US. Edward Snowden, if you’re listening, ffd38bhelp7442a88kitty84327out.  If you don’t hear from me again next Tuesday tin foils, take to Twitter and Reddit to avenge me! Cheers, Little Man ... read more

Tin Foil Tuesday: Are Donald and Vladimir BFF’ing Again?

Trump and Putin sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. So the hullabaloo that came out of the DNC hack last week appears to have Russian handprints all over it. Is Putin trying to influence our Presidential election for his own personal gain? Let’s take a look at the “evidence” we have thus far………. Timing:  The DNC hacks came by way of two Russian intelligence agencies. One of the hackers provided the information to Wikileaks who then released it on the eve of the Democratic Convention hoping to stoke chaos and outrage. The problem is that while it caused ire, silly Russians don’t realize we’ve come to expect this type of political party gamesmanship in a mega-tabloid election season on steroids where the only thing that is surprising is how we got here. But it was deliberate no doubt about it.  Puppets:  Trump is surprisingly ill-informed about geopolitics. He seems drawn to Putin much like he is drawn to himself in the mirror. Power Loves Power. But Putin is a maestro in geopolitics and is playing chess while Trump appears to be playing Connect Four against cats. Putin loathes NATO and wants it gone. Recently Trump has taken up talking points against NATO as well. Russia is the insolent child that keeps pushing the envelope in the form of slow and gradual “invasion” into former Soviet territories and regions (Georgia, Ukraine, etc). Trump last week commented that he probably would not respond if the Russians were to invade one of the Baltic States. This has to be news to the shirtless Russian midget’s ears! Trump wants to make America Great Again, but is he inadvertently helping to make Russia Great Again instead? Stay tuned.  Connecting the Dots Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign chairman, was previously a consultant for former Ukrainian President, Viktor Yanukovych, who loves him some Putin (the US did not support him because he undermined the West’s interest). Yanukovych was driven from office during the 2014 Ukrainian revolution by the flaming pitchforks of the people and fled to mother Russia. Shortly after the unrest, the Russians invade the Crimea region of Ukraine.   Money Money Money Don Jr. recently admitted to the Washington Post that his father is seeing “a lot of money pouring in from Russia”. So its logical to construct that some of the money Russia has loaned to Trump has worked its way into his campaign. Inadvertently yet again.  My take? Almost all power countries are involved... read more