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Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: The Government is Controlling the Weather (Gasp!)

  Another Tuesday and another round of conspiracies to peruse. This week I look at the conspiracy theories about humans controlling the weather as though there really is a small population of X-Men mutants running around experimenting with their powers. That darn Professor Xavier really might exist.   So here’s where I put my tin foil hat on and wonder whether the government is using the weather to control climate change, population and mind control and creating super disasters. Here are a few doozies I’ve found in my research.  1). Superstorm Sandy was done by Obama – Yup, there are folks out there that think Obama with his Super Storm PAC engineered this behemoth storm in an attempt to disrupt the 2012 Presidential Election. After all, following Benghazi, he needed to create a diversion where he would look like a hero afterwards. With all of the huggy bear with Chris Christie and stuff afterwards, he looked “compassionate” to the world. Does this sound ridiculous? Can man really engineer Super Storms? If so, why hasn’t the military engineered a Super Storm to wipe out ISIS instead of Atlantic City? Hmm? Yeah, that’s what I thought. But good try tin foils. 2). Europe is stealing rain from Iran- Why? Former President and Wackadoodle extraordinaire Mahmoud Ahmadenijad claimed that Europe created special technology to drain the rain from clouds in Iran to douse European cities, thus creating a water and economic crisis in the country. It might lend some credence except it started pouring on his tin foil hat during his inauguration so I think we can discredit that one. Plus their economic crisis was man made thanks to their awful government resulting in crippling sanctions.  3). The granddaddy of all weather conspiracies is HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral  Research Program). You see HAARP (which I keep confusing with AARP and blaming mommy) is a military organization that may be coming up with various plans/schemes to modify weather into warfare. HAARP has been blamed for creating Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Wilma. I guess that gives new meaning to HERricanes. But the best is that tin foils believe that HAARP is also manipulating the atmosphere to create giant earthquakes like the ones in Chile and in Japan in 2011 by way of a massive antennae that’s secretly housed beyond barbed wire in Alaska. This antennae is pointed at the ionosphere with enough concentration that causes it to snap like a rubber band and creates a massive earthquake.... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Setting Sail on the Conspira-Sea

  Are you looking for Spring Break fun? Do you like conspiracy theories? Can you imagine spending 7 days with a ship filled with tin foil hats? Well step right up there’s a market and a vessel for you. I kid you not tin foils, there is an annual 7 day cruise that sails from Los Angeles to the Mexican Riviera with various “Love Boat” stops like Puerto Vallarta. In between your time with Captain Stubing and drowning the rest of your brain cells in drinks poured by Isaac the Bartender, you can listen to various presenters discuss the following:  GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation, political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima, NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, survival, military industrial complex, pentagon, Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, subliminal ads, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more. Did my head just explode? Yup. Did I just go online to look at pricing? Yup. Will mommy even let me entertain this notion? Not unless she slaps a vest on me and walks me around on a leash claiming I’m her service cat. Plus she said its basically vegetarian, vegan and other holistic foods. Umm, cats are carnivores. So, its not a viable option for me.  But if one of my tin foil brethen makes it onboard, take good notes. I want to know all about the latest on the JFK assassination and Area 51 aliens that are currently running for President.  Spring Break Foil Hats On! – Little Man... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Hillary Is Hiding Something!

  No, we’re not talking about Benghazi, or her emails or her possible “pay for play” dealings as Secretary of State funneling favors to various people and leaders in exchange for donating to the Clinton Foundation. Hillary may actually be hiding a secret illness that could threaten her viability as Commander in Chief. Wild theories have been going around for the past two years and they continue to circulate like kitty poo circling the toilet. So let’s look at a recent Gawker article that outlined several “suspicious” ailments that lead to right wing conspiracy chatter.  1). The Benghazi Flu – Right before she was originally scheduled to testify in 2012 in one of the bazillion Benghazi hearings, she mysteriously fell while being woozy from the “flu”causing a head injury. The timing was suspicious as it delayed her testimony. What was she hiding? Well now its speculated her head injury actually caused brain damage making her unfit to be President. I’ve been watching the debates and the town hall and she doesn’t sound like someone who has lost anything on her fastball. But I always seem to think that maybe she’s actually throwing a spit ball at the voters. I am not sure about number one given the timing, but she’s definitely not brain damaged. Unless brain damage is defined as “someone who is delusional that she will win the Presidency”. But that’s another illness altogether. #feelthebern 2). The Bathroom Break – At a primary debate in December, she took an extended trip to the “bathroom” that “theorists” speculated was because she was dizzy and disoriented and was probably related to the Benghazi flu discussed above. Listen people, let’s not jump to conclusions here. Wee told me that the women’s bathroom was about as close to the debate stage as Hawaii is to California and further more, women take longer. They have make up retouches, hot flashes that don’t look pretty on camera and perhaps she was gossiping with other women. Mommy says the women’s bathroom is for socializing.  3). Bad vision – Oh c’mon, who doesn’t at that age have bad vision. Just because she’s wearing prism glasses, doesn’t mean that she has double vision from the Benghazi flu. Maybe they’re just “rose colored glasses” that she views her chances of being elected as President and getting along with a Republican Congress that will drag her to hearing after hearing, scandal after non-scandal further wasting the time, energy and... read more

Super Tin Foil Tuesday: JonBenet is Really Katy Perry? WTF?

  The motherlode of all wackadoodle conspiracy theories came out of US Weekly last week. The tabloid scandal mag reported that a You Tube conspirator posted a video claiming JonBenet was never actually murdered and instead became the famed pop star best known now for introducing the world to the famed Super Bowl doofus dancing Left Shark. Yes, I know you’re sitting there scratching your head and no you don’t have lice.  The posters “evidence” includes the fact that Katy’s parents look eerily similar to JonBenet’s parents, John and Pat Ramsey. Hmmm, Ummmkay.   OMG the resemblance is uncanny!!!!! Bwahhaaaa Another poster commented that had to be true because their eyebrows are very similar. Yeah…..go on……Since these two pieces of evidence are clearly overwhelmingly true (yawn), I will leave you with the video if you have a spare 7 minutes to devote to this assertion that the parents of JonBenet, the cops, the prosecutors are all a bunch of liars. Or better yet, I’ll save you your 7 minutes and just say, WOW, tin foil hat... read more

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