Fireside Chat With Wee: Was it Always This Ugly?

We are still 11 months out from the general election and already we’re bombarded with rhetoric ranging from fear to absolute loathing. I don’t seem to recall such ugly campaigns and nasty rhetoric 4 years ago, then mommy reminded me I was just a Wee one roaming the streets in search of a furever home. So I decided to look back in history to see if this is just the sign of the technological plummet into total lunacy. From polarized media, outright hate speech, ridiculously ugly partisan memes and mud slinging that degrades our great country, I learned that, yeah, it’s been pretty ugly all along throughout history. And so I bring you some of the best (worst) campaign slug fests in history.  1) Andrew Jackson v. John Quincy Adams: Adams was accused of “big pimping” when he provided the services of an American girl to a Russian Czar. Jackson’s wife was called a “convicted adultress” for marrying him prior to divorcing her first husband. She later died before his inauguration and Jackson blamed his opponents for her demise. Jackson’s inauguration day brought a mob scene that included women fainting and men bloodying up one another. Ahh, good ole’ democracy .   2). Thomas Jefferson v. John Adams:  The first election showing the flaws in the voting system where the second place candidate actually became Vice-President. Jefferson somehow got stuck with Aaron Burr as Veep who was a wackadoodle extraordinaire. When he attempted to dump him his second term, Burr challenged vocal opponent Alexander Hamilton to a gun duel that ended badly (for Hamilton). So I guess it could be worse, right? This led to the 12th Amendment whereby future Presidents and Vice Presidents would be elected on a single ticket. Good thinking lads.  Ugly rhetoric was also part of the campaign where supporters of John Adams referred to Jefferson as; “a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father.” Not to be outdone, Jefferson’s camp referred to Adams as; “hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.” Ouch…   3). Bush v. Gore:  A deadlocked election to be decided by the state where Bush’s brother was then Governor. What could go wrong? Well let’s see; Hanging Chads, Secretary of State Katharine Harris, lawsuits, recounts and an eventual Supreme Court halt to the nonsense. And an illustration of the problem... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesdays: Apparently 2016 is Gonna Suck

As we wrap up 2015 and await the possible appearance of Nibiru (Planet X – which I don’t see a blue ball heading this way yet and it’s almost Christmas…hmmff), we are already seeing the “predictions” for doom and gloom for 2016. So let’s take a look at what our “theorists” have on tap for 2016 so you can plan your vacation time and locations accordingly:  1). The year of Nostradamus and WW3. Well, I could say if we actually formed a viable coalition to defeat ISIS consisting of Russia, China, France, England, Jordan, Saudi, Iran and Turkey, it could technically be called World War 3. But “loose” interpretations of Nostradamus indicate the involvement of Russia, NATO and Israel are the catalyst. Huh? I can see Russia and NATO given the recent kerfuffle with Turkey, but Israel? Oh and the Antichrist is supposed to appear before the year 2050. If your keeping up with the campaigns for President in this country, there are a few possible nominees there. Nostradamus also talks about a world wide flooding event as well. Could he be referencing the dreaded sea level rising and climate change? Or could we just be too loony to take heed of what a 16th century philosopher babbled about while he was high on medieval crack?  2). 2016: The year of the bio-weapon. Its only a matter of time before some wackadoodle extremist drops a biological weapon on someone. No not small pox or anthrax, that’s too old school; but some mutated form of a virus that actually brings about the Zombie Apocalypse. If zombies are looking for fresh brains in this country or elsewhere, there going to be sorely disappointed, particularly if its set off in Washington DC. Yes this is an actual prediction. Time to dust off and re-watch Zombieland for usable tips. Get your survivor plan and provisions ready. And remember to always do the “double tap”.  3). End times prophecies. Let’s face it, End Times predictions never go out of style and 2016 will be no different. This year its all about Daniel 9:24 which states,  “A period of seventy sets of seven has been decreed for your people and your holy city to finish their rebellion, to put an end to their sin, to atone for their guilt, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to confirm the prophetic vision, and to anoint the Most Holy Place.” — Daniel 9:24 If you do the fuzzy math... read more

News of the Wee: All We Want for Christmas is a Goat

News of the Wee returns from its hiatus to bring you the weekly wrap up of news, both real and ridiculous. Along with cub reporter Little Man, and editorial crumudgeon Mr. Bean, Wee and the gang are here to keep you in the NO. Or the know, whatever you wish. SO…….let’s take a look at our week folks.  Picture of the week:  Doubling down this week on his idea that we should temporarily halt Muslims from coming in and out of the country until we “figure out what’s going on”, comes the photo which will probably end up defining Trump’s campaign. Old Uncle Sam, the 27 year old equally cagey eagle took one look at the nest on Trump’s head and immediately announced his plan to make it his permanent home.  Uncle Sam’s version of the outcome:    You can’t mess with Uncle Sam, Donald. Uncle Sam 1, The Donald 0   In Music news and just in time for Christmas, comes “All I Want For Christmas is a Goat” and we’re still laughing 8 hours later.  Your ears will need therapy after this one. It will really get your goat.    The Post Office Denied This Cat His Christmas Gift Because He’s Got No ID This week in outrage, comes our little buddy Ted, a British tabby who was unable to get his Christmas package. Yes, the package addressed to him which contained a Cat Advent Calendar was briefly held hostage by the postal service because it required proper identification before it would be released. Seeing that cats don’t have driver’s licenses (except maybe Toonces from SNL) or passports (Because we are on the terror watch list), Ted had to rely on his loving owner who wrote a letter, then went to the post office to explain the awkward situation and dilemma. But never fear, the postal service in the spirit of Christmas enjoyed the story and allowed Ted to have his proper Christmas. Look at this sweet little guy.    Finally, this week marks the final Republican debate of 2015. We expect more of the same and thus we will be happily chirping away on Twitter Tuesday. Follow us if you dare at @weethequeen as we practice and hone our joke writing skills. We will be back Wednesday with our debate recap. Until then, may be the force be with you.  –... read more

Fireside Chat With Wee: Terrorists Can Legally Buy Guns? WTF?

Another week, another mass shooting. But this time, it appears that ISIS sympathizers have committed this atrocious act. It was only a matter of time and there is nothing we can do to stop every possible terror threat. Particularly when we don’t even have every possible radicalized individual or lunatic on the radar.  But I about came unglued to learn that over 2,000 people on the terror watch list have legally purchased guns over the past decade. I read it, it did not compute, logic error…error….error. I get that we have a constitutional right to bear arms and I’m fine with that. In fact, I’ve called up my army of gnomes to begin stockpiling weapons and training again in case this shit doesn’t stop. Which I don’t see it happening. But really? You lose your “constitutional right” to bear arms when you mentally or physically decide that Americans must die. And that means both radical anti-government wing nuts and radicalized jihadist wannabes who want to kill Americans. But if you are not allowed on a plane with the humans because you may be deemed a threat, how the hell should you be able to purchase weapons that can result in mass killings of Americans. No, No and for the last time NO! After my total meltdown, mommy handed me some additional research on the no fly list and it was eye-opening. There are thousand of people on the no fly list that are not even remotely involved with nefarious activities. People like Senator Ted Kennedy  (RIP) and children under the age of 5 (although many of their parents may consider them terrorists of a different kind) have spent time on the list and there are very little provisions for managing this list appropriately by the government. If you have a black sheep family member on the list? You’re probably on the list as well through guilt by association. Maybe even your friends. Some on the list have been pressured to become informants when they have absolutely no relation to terror suspects or plots. If you refuse to cooperate, you could find yourself in even bigger trouble. If you have no relation to terror and happen to travel outside the country, you may find yourself not being able to get back in. Ditto for people not related to terror who are coming to the US for job interviews, family funerals and reunions, etc.  The most distressing part about this list... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Here Comes Planet X for Christmas

Now that we’ve escaped doom and gloom from the asteroids, another looming threat is “allegedly” heading our way just in time for a new “War on Christmas”. See there is a rogue planet, called “Planet X” that is headed for the Milky Way, presumably, because the Snickers Galaxy has already been destroyed.  Several “publications” have theorized that Planet X has gotten off of it’s leash and is on a collision course with Earth in a few weeks. According to our favorite “doomsday preppers”, many governments around the world are busy hoarding body bags and coffins in preparation. According to Latino Post, ” UN peacekeepers and Russian soldiers are busy learning English and undergoing US military training so they can work with the US military when Planet X hits”. I can’t stop laughing, because seriously, we can’t form a coalition to defeat ISIS or a even a coalition to decide on what we all want for lunch. But I will indulge….. Gordon James Gianninoto, who speaks to aliens regularly, states he’s been told that as Planet X goes by, its going to reach into the earth’s belly and rip out the crust tipping it up over the North Pole, then let it go like a giant galactic wedgie. But he does support the Chinese “ghost cities” that I recently reported on a few weeks back. Why they are building ghost cities to prepare for Planet X-lax is beyond me.  How about some science people? Ok, astronomers have apparently discovered a planet-like entity that is orbiting towards the galaxy they’ve named V774104. But does this mean that Planet X, who allegedly may be impacting the rings of Neptune and Saturn is gonna come down your chimney, eat the cookies you leave out and drink all your bourbon on Christmas? Probably not. But just in case, keep your eyes to the sky and look for a blue round object in the sky in the coming weeks.  I’ll leave this video here that appears to capture what is probably the sun and associated sunlight. Or a wine spot from someone drinking a little too much cough syrup. I’ll let you decide, but if you go onto Youtube, there are numerous videos and sightings of Planet X. Collision, Collision, Danger Will Robinson …….Cheers, Little... read more

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