search
top

WeeeNN 2016: Bobbay!!!!!

The Kibble Party looks at the legitimacy of candidate Bobby Jindal following his announcement yesterday that he too will be joining an horrifically overcrowded field of potential presidential nominations for the Republican party.  Wee: On paper, he’s a genius extraordinaire. Rhodes scholar, Brown and Oxford grad, policy adviser for Health and Human services, a Congressional stint and now Governor. All by the age of 44. He’s like Doogie Howser the politician.  Bean: He is an exceptionally intelligent man who formerly warned his party to stop being the “party of stupid”.  Little Man: And then goes on to personify the very same attributes he was advocating against. He probably would’ve have been a marginally better candidate 4 years ago at the age of 40 riding on a high in LA. Now he has to run on his abysmal record in his second term as governor.  Wee: Yes let’s look at his current record. He has a state budget deficit of $1.6 billion dollars which will now require him to raise taxes as there is no other alternative. People do not like more taxes. And a big tuition hike is coming to LA colleges. College is just so affordable these days, huh?  Bean: To me, he has gone off the rails in terms of authenticity. 6 years ago, Bobby could do little wrong. He was a bright thoughtful person who appeared to be a governor that truly got it. Then somewhere along the past 2 years, he has veered so right and off message, that he is almost unrecognizable.  Little Man: and by unrecognizable, we mean this recent governor’s portrait. WTF? Wee: Do you think he suffers from vitiligo like Michael Jackson “allegedly” did? Listen Bobby, you can’t reinvent your image like Madonna or Lady Gaga as a politician. Doesn’t work lol.  Bean: Then he turns from being a very pro business governor to announcing that despite the legislature’s failure to enact a religious freedom bill (aka, the legal way to discriminate. Let’s just call it what it is), he took it upon himself to enact an executive order establishing same. IBM, one of Louisiana’s bigger employers recently punished Jindal by cancelling a ribbon cutting event at a new large Baton Rouge facility. Any type of laws that potentially have discriminatory effects is bad for businesses and businesses leave to find more hospitable environments. Tsk Tsk Bobby.  Wee: And they talk about Obama overreaching on his executive powers. Jindal will have... read more

The Kibble Party: Take Down The Flag

This week the Kibble Party discusses the debate over whether or not the rebel flag over the South Carolina capitol’s Confederate Soldier Memorial should come down or not.  Wee: Take down the flag. Out of respect for what’s happened in Charleston and where we are in the world of racial tensions, it’s time. You don’t see the Nazi flag being flown over a capitol memorial in Berlin as part of their nostalgia for “heritage” do you? You don’t see Cambodians waving Pol Pot’s flag from the Democratic Party of Kampuchea? Like other atrocities in the world, the flag had a time and a place in history and as such belongs in a museum for people to see and be reminded of the struggles our country has gone through.  Bean: Supporters indicate that it symbolizes southern heritage and a sense of Southern pride and should not be construed as a symbol of hatred. It is actually a symbol of independence against the tyranny of the federal government.  South Carolina felt the federal government should not tell them how to live their lives which was the catalyst for the secession. Because they were rebelling against the government, thus borne the “rebel flag”.  Little Man: Yes, the “tyranny” of the federal government for not returning slaves from the North to their slave masters in the South and pressuring them to abolish slavery outright. Let’s not mince words by trying to pretty up the pig by talking about “states’ rights”. I don’t think the intent of state’s rights included dehumanizing a certain portion of the population.  Wee: It’s interesting because following the Civil War, people didn’t really discuss the flag that much outside of Civil War re-enactments or Daughters of the Confederacy meetings. It wasn’t until the late 1940’s when Truman brought forth desegregation of the armed forces and later anti-lynching bills that the flag started making more visible appearances from the Dixiecrats.  Little Man: More proof that this flag is not about “southern pride”  so much as “southern shame”. I am in no way disparaging the people of the south or of South Carolina by the way. The city of Charleston, in particular, has acted in such a manner that I am hopeful for the redemption of society. Survivors of loved ones lost expressing forgiveness towards the reprehensible racist shooter. People of all walks of life, ethnicities and orientation coming together for the common purpose of love, grief, hope and community. It’s... read more

WeeeNN 2016: Donald Trump Looks to Be “Hired”

It’s officially out of control folks. Donald Trump has now hijacked the clown bus and is taking everyone on a tour of the absurd. The Kibble Party weighs in on what is shaping up to be more like a reality show than an election.  Wee: Will his hair be his first lady?  Bean: Will he bring George, Don Jr and Ivanka in as his cabinet?  Little Man: He only declared bankruptcy 4 times over his career. Perhaps he is looking to bankrupt a 5th. This time America.  Wee: In terms of jobs, he can create them. But what jobs? Employing people to build a Trump hotel on every street corner of America? Building golf courses and bottling Trump water?  Bean: His presence is going to be a thorn in every other candidate’s side. Can you imagine him in a debate? I can. It could be more brutal than the boardroom in The Apprentice. He might fire some of the clowns on the stage in real time. The DVR is already programmed for the debates. That is; should he make it to the varsity team.  Little Man: Hey, at least he doesn’t have any billionaire backers. He IS the backer. He’s rich as sin.  Wee: He has a “fool-proof” plan to get rid of ISIS, but he’s not gonna give away his secret. I suspect his plan involves partnering with Richard Branson to send them to Mars to create their own caliphate.  Bean: He’s gonna bring back all of the jobs from China, Japan and everywhere else. He’s gonna print his own money. Instead of putting a woman on a 20 dollar bill, we will get to see his mug on his own currency. The dollar will be renamed the Trump.  Little Man: He will tackle illegal immigration by using his hair as a wall to keep people out.  Bottom Line:  Wee: It’s officially the Circapocalypse. Serious. The big tent is now under a giant bomb threat. It’s spectacular.  Bean: He’s gonna take the attention from actual serious candidates that are policy wonks that actually have legitimate ideas to improve our country. This is bad for the brand. Both Republican and Trump.  Little Man: YOU’RE FIRED!... read more

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday: Are We Being Governed By Lizards?

A report out of The Wire indicated that over 12 million people in the world believe that we are being governed or entertained in some cases by reptilians. These shapeshifting reptilian humanoids hold high positions in politics and in the entertainment industry. Even your neighbor could be a shapeshifter so make sure you scrutinize them carefully before accepting their next invite to a barbecue.  The long list of potential lizards include; Obama, The Royal Family in Britain, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce (shaking her lizard booty) and the Bush family. Almost all politicians are likely lizards and  the Illuminati only accepts you into their secret organization if you got some green leathery skin underneath that power suit.  My question is; what is their ultimately objective? Jurassic World? V? Widespread gecko revolution? I’ll be honest; I peeked at mommy getting ready this morning to see if there was any hint of green skin. But alas, she advised me she had way too much wine this weekend so hence the green pallor.  Lizard People? A reality or a just another tin foil hat creation? – Cheers, Little Man To read more about the “lizard people” see attached. It even gives you a list of characteristics you should look out for!... read more

WeeeNN 2016: Bush League

Jeb Bush finally throws in hat into the ring now that he has amassed enough money to buy and sell some African nations. The Kibble Party panel takes a look at his legitimacy as a Presidential candidate.  Wee: Once the probable front runner, early missteps with the press and the weariness of the Bush name has dampened enthusiasm from potential voters.  Bean: He’s still a formidable candidate that has an actual leadership history and was quite successful and popular as a governor of a major swing state.  Little Man: I would rather vote for Duke, the dog from the Bush beans commercial! Go Duke, now give me the recipe dammit!!! Wee: If people give him a chance to talk about his record and allow others outside of Florida to get to know that he’s more like H than W, he may have a slow creep back up in the polls.  Bean: Agree for once Bean. He has two MAJOR things going for him; one being a successful governor of the most important swing state and his appeal to Latinos with his more heartfelt immigration policies.  Little Man: More conservatives are interested in Scott Walker for some odd reason. He’s not exactly tearing it up in Wisconsin. Unless you consider tearing it up meaning dismantling unions, running Wisconsin into a deficit and gerrymandering women’s hoo hoo parts.  Wee: One thing that no one has commented on regarding Bush is that he is building a home on the family compound in Maine. With the rules not allowing 2 candidates from the same state to be on the ballot, it obstructs the goal from getting the all important Florida electoral votes. As such, he has all but certainly signaled that if he is THE candidate, Rubio is his running mate.  Bean: And if conservatives are smart, they would realize THAT ticket wins Florida and possibly a sizable bloc of Latino voters. But conservatives can’t help being their own worst enemy when it comes to the primary votes. With this ticket, they really can’t lose. Little Man: Tacos, burritos, there’s something coming out of your Speedo.  Wee: Little Man, pay attention!! Bean: We’ve lost him to SNL again. The Millenial cat has the attention span of a flea.  Little Man: I’m listening. I’m just better at multi-tasking than you old cats.  Bottom Line:  Wee: Clinton/Bush – for those of you that never removed the bumper sticker from your cars in 1992, congratulations! It’s... read more

« Previous Entries

top