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News of the Wee: Vaccinating Against Common Sense

Dear Weekend, Please get here faster. Mommy is crabby and too busy to edit me this week. So if I misspell, remember I have fat furry paws and talons that don’t always behave. Kind of a slow news week (finally), so let’s see what’s going on this week people……. Wee’s PSA – If there’s any amusement park company excited right now, it’s gotta be Knott’s Berry Farm. It’s presently a measles-free zone and seeing an uptick in visitors thanks to the Disneyland debacle. Why? Because people continue to be misinformed about vaccinations, so much so, that their avoidance is bringing back such beloved diseases as measles, whopping cough, mumps and oh, that polio thing. You remember all those diseases that were mostly eradicated by vaccines 50 years ago? Yeah they’re back. Why? Because some people refuse to vaccinate their kids. Memo to parents:  if you have a child and you don’t vaccinate them, then you don’t get to take them to Disneyland…or Disney World or any other public place where children less than a year can be exposed to your 50’s style disease petri dish of a child. I feel bad for the parents that have to quarantine their own children now for a month as a result of other’s poor judgment. There needs to be a vaccine against the erosion of common sense. Whoever makes that serum, call me…….maybe… Best Excuse EVER for Missing a Public Appearance: This week’s best excuse comes from Johnny Depp who missed the Mortecai press conference in Japan for the following stated reason:  “I was attacked yesterday morning by a very rarely seen or experienced animal called the chupacabra,” he told a tittering crowd. “I fought with it for hours. They’re very persistent, very mean. And I’m pretty sure it came in my suitcase. I threw him off the 23rd floor, so we’ll never see him again. Save that nugget for a future use……….Your boss or teacher simply cannot argue with that logic nor could they even comprehend a coherent response to that. Well done Jack Sparrow!    Headlines WEEE loved this week:   How To Tell If Bigfoot Poop Is Fake Hmmm. Let’s see…..Big Foot is probably fake, right? So this poop must be fake also? This is a headline people? There are actually scientists talking about this ****? Woman Who Claimed She Had 3 Breasts Charged With Drunk Driving Oh Florida, you can’t escape a week without making a headline can you? Remember 3 boob girl?... read more

WeeeNN Sports: Super Bowl Predictions

What a strange Super Bowl this is shaping up to be. Fresh off Deflategate, New England tries to bounce back from being dogged in the court of public opinion as a bunch of cheaters. Then you have the strangeness that is Marshawn Lynch showing up for mandatory public appearances and telling fans, he’s only there so he won’t get fined. I’m sure he was was under the influence of the new “strain” that was recently named in his honor in Seattle. The year started off rough for the NFL with the Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson scandals. Now it threatens to end on an even more bizarre note thanks to the Patriots. It’s a bit of an analogy for me comparing the NFL to a slowly deflating ball. The league needs a PR makeover after this season along with a new commissioner and direction. Goodell has turned this league into an oligarch circus full of distracting sideshows and freaks.  But what about the matchup? About as evenly matched up as you can get. Patriots are strong on offense, strong on defense. Seahawks have the potential to shut down the Patriots O. I can guarantee that Richard Sherman will be all over Brady’s balls on Sunday. But my gut tells me Darth Belichek pulls this one out, but barely. 27-24.  – Midget McGee What do the others say?  Wee: Seahawks all the way 34-30. Richard Sherman schools Tom Brady which begs the question of who the real thug is in this scenario?  Bean: Patriots. It’s the only team a real American should root for 34-17! Little Man: Do I get extra kibble on... read more

Little Man Occupies GE

You’d be hard-pressed to look around your house without seeing something made by GE (General Electric). Remember GE, it brings good things to life? Except it brings bad things to jobs in the US.  Almost 30,000 jobs slashed between 2004 and 2010 in the US. More jobs abroad than in the US. In 2007, 2008 and 2009 it had paid roughly 15%, 5% and negative % in corporate taxes. The last time I checked, we had a corporate tax rate of 35%. I looked at mommy’s taxes and she pays a butt-load in comparison. But that’s precisely the problem with corporations these days. They already get tax loopholes, but despite healthy earnings, the earnings do not “trickle” back down into the US economy by way of jobs. So I’m going to Occupy this GE dishwasher until I feel some sort of trickle... read more

News of the Wee: Deflating your Balls and Your Dreams

Almost to the end of the week my peeps. Friday can’t come soon enough for me. My weekend plans? Same as always, nap, kibble, nap, short burst of energy to race around the house for no apparent reason other than I heard this week that sitting will kill you, nap, kibble, wrestle with Little Man, nap and more nap. Feign a few halfhearted meows as mommy walks by so that she knows I’m still alive. Strategically place Ipad in front of me to give the appearance of work being done. What’s news this week people? Wee on deflated balls and deflated dreams: This one I’m sure happens WAY more than we know. Plus the referees are constantly touching the balls (insert kitty snicker) so I don’t see how no one would’ve picked up on the situation during the second half. Unless, as a referee, you had to make sure the Pats more than covered the spread (-6.5) on this one to pay for little Johnny’s college tuition. Or did it happen because balls shrink when exposed to the cold? I googled that very question and sadly for me, it brought an eye raping level of articles about men’s testicles. So for goodness sake, when researching this issue people, please specify in your search engine that you are asking about FOOTballs. But the theory is the same on shrinkage for both. So I have to conclude that weather could’ve been a contributing factor in causing the balls to deflate vs. Darth Belichek.  Wee on the problems in Yemen: Here we go peeps, another failed state in the making. Syria 2.0 with the potential for various radical factions to move in for their piece of the pie and ultimate control. While the present insurrection is being led by the minority Shia Houthi, there is enough growing instability that it will attract interest from Sunni Extremists AQAP, Al Shisk-a-baab in Somalia and of course, ISIS. If you don’t think that the leadership of Al Qaeda has had Yemen with a big red circle around it, then you haven’t been paying attention. The US is in a tough position at this point as Yemen has been very instrumental in aiding the US on counterterrorism efforts. We can ill afford to lose yet another country to extremism as this will hamper our efforts to obtain credible and useful intelligence in the future. It will be interesting to see how this situation plays out over... read more

Mr. Bean Discusses the Republican Response to State of the Union

Damn Joni Ernst!! Your folksy demeanor and 90’s mom hair is just so damn infectious. If I had to amputate a leg, I would want you to be there talking to me in that soothing, comforting voice. A star is born Republicans. Relatable, not an ugly white man. She may not be Taylor Swift, but she has the swift potential to rise up the ranks quickly within the party. While Joni avoided talking about the speech, she focused on the Republican agenda for getting Washington back on track. Here’s the highlights: Stagnant wages, higher insurance premiums and bills. People fearful of the world left to children. Obamacare is a failed policy. Repeal and replace! People deserve better. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs.. Hawk the pipeline. Hmm need more than that long-term comrades! Sell expensive goods to Europe and the Pacific to keep jobs here. Stop paying for more government waste. We will get Washington working again (thank god) No increase in taxes on the rich and corporations. Maybe close some loopholes. Terrorism is a challenge. We need a comprehensive plan to defeat terrorism. Stop King Obama’s empire and overreach. Prevent cyberattacks Screw Iran and their nuclear program Freedom and hard work people! That’s how you succeed in this country Joni – Bravo. I don’t care if you castrated pigs, you castrated those Dems tonight!   Wee’s Final rebuttal: I want to like her, but I’m skeptical. I was fooled by Palin when they first paraded her out of the stable. Ernst reminded me a bit of a fembot delivering a sweet and strong message, while guns slowly emerge through the top of her blue suit. Listen to the folksy stories and sweet delivery and don’t mind that the speech offered no new solutions than the old standbys of repeal Obamacare, no increase in taxes for the rich and corporations and the ludicrous prospect that weee can hawk expensive goods abroad to keep jobs in the US. But I will reserve judgment and hope that she truly is a fresh face of the party v. the flavor of the week until she opens her mouth and a crazy train rolls out. Make me a believer... read more

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